I heard him on the fire escape. He just snuck in through the window. I'm talkin' about Santa, here, kidz. And he's not what I expected. He's not the florid-faced, huffin' 'n' puffin', out of shape shmuck I thought he'd be. He actually looks like a cross between Johnny Depp and Armand Assante, so ... I'd better get going.

Merry XXXmas.