Life
To: My father's old "best friend", the one who committed suicide on Father's Day several years ago, leaving behind a 16-year-old daughter
How thoughtful.You know, before you decided to relieve yourself of the burden of living, you should have come to me first. I wouldn't have tried to talk you out of it, because I'm not the negotiating type, and, quite frankly, if you were considering killing yourself I wouldn't even want to waste my time with you. But had you come to me, I would have suggested that you exchange your life for the one that my friend Aldo lost last October after a long bout with leukemia. I know he would have appreciated it. He would have found some way to make use of a life you considered useless.
Limb
To: Lazy losers on the escalator
If you have legs, and you have no physical limitations, then there is absolutely no excuse for you to use the escalator when there is a stairway that is available at the same location. "I'm tired" is no excuse. "It takes too long" is no excuse. "I'm a lazy bastard" is no excuse. And no, I don't want to hear, "I have a big shopping bag." That's no excuse either.fresh-baked at 10:06 AMYou know what ... If you don't want to use your legs -- if you prefer to let something else do the transporting for you -- I know someone who would be more than happy to relieve you of them. She's been in a wheelchair longer than I care to even imagine, thanks to multiple sclerosis, and she would gladly use the legs you seem to forget you have. In fact, she'd be thrilled, and beyond appreciative, so if you don't mind I'm going to call around to make arrangements to have the exchange effectuated immediately.
Lee -- An escalator is a moving staircase ... and you, like my friend who is in a wheelchair (due to multiple sclerosis), have a real reason (not an excuse) for not using one. Using an elevator (or, as you would probably say, the "lift") to travel only one or two floors is an abomination, if your legs are able to take you where you want to go.
Offered by: Jodi on June 5, 2002 9:49 AMSome translation needed (I'm from the UK) - is an escalator a moving staircase (if so, then we're not supposed to use them (I'm in a wheelchair - CP since birth - whoops, double brackets - used to get wrong for that in English)) or a metal cage (filled with various people and smells)? Yes, the latter annoys me - especially when people are going only one/two floors. Would I be any better if I was able bodied? Best not go that way.....
Offered by: Lee on June 5, 2002 7:56 AMTess -- You'd better be all for people who are into the "indoor exercise thing", damn it, given whose site this is and all. If you wrote anything anti-gym, I'd be forced to open up one of your cans of whoop-ass and administer it to you personally! Yeah!
Offered by: Jodi on June 2, 2002 1:57 PMI take any opportunity I can to get a wee bit of exercise, as I can not, will not, and have no intention of ever, going to a "gym". Therefore, I usually take the stairs. I abhor organized exercise, and whenever I do it, I just keep thinking, "I could be doing this, or that, or learning something new, or visiting my mom, or...".
I love to walk, hike, ride bikes, etc. I just can't do the indoor exercise thing. I'm all for people that can, and do, though. :)
Offered by: Tess on June 2, 2002 1:49 PMIt doesn't "make [me] happy" that you can't use the escalator. The fact that you fell on one, however, should not deter you from going on an escalator again; to wit: that old saw about "getting back on the horse".
Offered by: Jodi on June 2, 2002 1:14 PMif it makes you happy, I can't use the esclator(I fell down one in summer of 1999) . I'm fucking terrified of them, and I use the stairs and elevators if all possible.
Offered by: Anita on June 2, 2002 11:46 AM
