Don't say it. Don't even think it. I know it's almost impossible to not fill in the blank, just as it's impossible to leave off the "two bits" part of the "Shave and a haircut" jingle.
When I used to work in offices, I dreaded the Friday morning elevator ride even more than I dreaded the ride every other weekday morning. (Long Aside: I believe in silence on the elevator. The elevator is not the place to discuss what a dickhead your boss is, or what you watched on TV last night, or what you bought your kids on sale at Target. Or anything else. Oh, and don't even try to engage me in conversation once the doors are closed. Just bow your head, examine the tips of your shoes, and shut up. Don't hum. Or whistle.)
As I was saying ... I dreaded the Friday morning elevator ride. Invariably I'd either overhear or actually be personally greeted with "Thank God It's Friday!!!" or, perhaps even worse, the handy acronym, "TGIF!!!" And then everyone else on the elevator would laugh and/or sigh as if they hadn't already heard the exclamation twenty times already, even at 8:58 a.m.
Of course, the greeting (and thus my dread) wasn't just limited to the morning elevator ride. And it wasn't just limited to exchanges between people who actually knew each other. No, it was an all-day refrain, and everyone, from the FedEx delivery person to the new temp waiting to be walked back to her spot, was a cheerful participant. Except for me. I was neither a participant nor turn-that-frown-upside-down, every-sentence-punctuated-with-an-invisible-exclamation-point cheerful. Just. couldn't. do. it.
So now I no longer work in an office, and I go to the gym way too early for anyone to be awake enough to speak at all let alone offer a spirited "TGIF!!!" The only person I speak to before 9:00 a.m. is myself, so I know I can escape the platitude. (Unless, of course, I've forgotten my "meds", and one of my alternate personalities, such as the irrepressibly bright-eyed Brandi, catches me off-guard.)
I don't miss the "hey, we're all in the same boat" solidarity that "TGIF!!!" engendered. But I'm not a complete spoilsport. I'm not totally anti-social (despite impressions to the contrary), and because after enough caffeine I actually enjoy engaging strangers in conversation, I've decided that I'm going to indulge in a little platitude of my own creation. It, too, has an acronym counterpart, so it should catch on quickly.
What is it? Well, it's sort of along the lines of "TGIF!!!" but appropriate only for Mondays. It's FIM!!! which is short for "FUCK! IT'S MONDAY!" But unlike "TGIF", which is quite a jumbled mouthful, it's an acronym that, like "scuba", can actually be fashioned into a real word.
So if you see me on the street this coming Monday, and you have nothing else to say because you don't know me but you feel compelled to say something anyway, just offer me a hearty "FIM!!!" And say it like you mean it.
fresh-baked at 10:06 AMYou couldn't pay me to eat there any day of the week.
Offered by: Jodi on June 29, 2002 3:32 PMand jodi ,
stay away from this place :
http://www.brookelyn.org/index.php?x=photography/past/000305.html
aaron says
"every Friday has a Monday waiting in the wings, and every Monday will mean another Friday's coming up".... and which would mean the next monday is not so far away !! gawd -how could people be so positive.
whoa...
sounds to me like someone's former "office job" may have been in a slightly different kind of "office"...
Offered by: aaron on June 29, 2002 8:18 AMBut Kim, that's precisely the sort of abuse those worms crave. Just start there ... then extrapolate, exaggerate, exasperate ... and they'll be sliding on their slippery bellies, struggling to lick the soles of your boots, and literally begging for more.
Offered by: Jodi on June 28, 2002 6:35 PMJodi -- funny you should talk about elevators; I have a blog I've been meaning to write that's about this very topic.
Elevator Etiquette -- coming soon to a blog near you.
Offered by: Scott on June 28, 2002 6:19 PMYes, Jodi. I have a talent for making things sound dominatrix-y. Sometimes, I tell Scott that I'd like to become one, and he laughs at me. I really do think I might enjoy it, though. Well, until I broke into fits of giggles. I doubt that men who go to dominatrixes (dominatrices?) are going to be abused by a giggling chick whose best abuse is calling him a moron for going to a dominatrix.
And yes, I am Queen of the Runon Sentence! None shall steal my title!
Offered by: Kim on June 28, 2002 6:09 PMHow can you tell whether it's Monday or Friday? Do the gyms and Blockbusters close on weekends in New York? Come on...admit it...every day's a Friday for you. Not like us poor workin' stiffs.
And speaking of elevators (!?), how come you never look up when I say, "Hah...looks like we got the local!"
Too many rules on the east coast--I don't miss the rigidity. You lose you're edge a little when you leave..but losing your edge is vastly under-rated.
Offered by: skip on June 28, 2002 2:48 PMMiss Lawrence,
I'm sorry if my smart-assed remarks angered you - I shall tone them to my personal blog or other's comments.
Have a great and wonderful weekend!!
Offered by: Zaldor on June 28, 2002 2:34 PMOwch.
Offered by: Zaldor on June 28, 2002 2:30 PMZaldor: Stop trying.
Zaldor: You're fired. And expelled.
Zaldor: DQM.
I don't see why FIM is better than TGIF - but maybe it's just me. I agree, TGIF is a tired, worn out phrase - but hey, *most* people look forward to the weekend and having 2 days away from their workplace... But if you enjoy working at your workplace, why not just work thru the weekend?
Other useable acronyms:
SIM (Shit it's Monday!)
MRS (Mondays really suck)
Okay - those suck too... but hey, i'm trying.
T.G.I.F.
sorry, couldn't resist.
Offered by: Zaldor on June 28, 2002 11:21 AMOoooh, Ki-i-i-immmm.... I approve of the dominatrix-y aspect that you've conferred upon FIM!
Who knew FIM could be so much FUN!?
Offered by: Jodi on June 28, 2002 11:17 AMBut, Aaron! If we leave the exclamation point, it can be seen as a command.
"Fuck!"
Note the tone of command. As in, go fuck now!
"It's Monday!" (say it as if that were a good enough reason, which...I suppose it is.)
Offered by: Kim on June 28, 2002 11:12 AMAaron, I don't know what your point is, either, but I like it anyway, for some reason. Stop confusing me. My pretty little head just can't handle it!!!
Offered by: Jodi on June 28, 2002 10:55 AMWell I'm thinking I will make good use of your FIM acronym but, I'll have to delay my personal implementation of it for another week, I think.
You see, Monday is Canada day and well ... it would be like saying "Fuck! It's Canada Day" and well ... despite the fact that we're an unpatriotic lot, it's probably a bit inappropriate, if you know what I mean? :)
Offered by: Jennifer on June 28, 2002 10:51 AMI beg to differ with you. Actually...no. I don't beg to differ. I'm just going to differ. No begging. Not for something as stupid as differing, anyway. There are some things that I certainly would beg for. But differing? Not one of them.
Oh yeah...I had a point.
I think the blind optimism inherent in the "TGIF" is somewhat endearing. Far more so than the negative connotations of your "FIM" sugestion. But if you think about it, what do either of them mean? I don't thank God it's Friday. I don't thank God it's any day. Because you know what? In two days, it's Monday again. Likewise, I don't get upset when it's Monday, because in four days it will be Friday again. Thanking God should be reserved for important things. Things...well, things worth begging for.
On the flipside, "Fuck! it's Monday" doesn't really resonate with me...unless the first word is not used as a curseword, but rather a suggestion. Try using a question mark there. And add a pause. And give someone "that look" when you say it.
"Fuck?"
(*give the look....maybe gesture towards behind the filing cabinets... pause.........keep pausing.....okay......*)
"It's Monday..." (say it as if that were a good enough reason, which...I suppose it is.)
In this endless cycle we call life, where every Friday has a Monday waiting in the wings, and every Monday will mean another Friday's coming up...what really matters?
Spirituality, and Survival of the Species. God and Fucking. So they both work on some level, I suppose. I had no idea what my point was going to be when I started writing this.
I still don't know what my point is.
Offered by: aaron on June 28, 2002 10:45 AM
