There's a girl at the gym who, about a year ago, lost quite a bit of weight and was looking relatively fantastic. Her attitude, however, was less so. In fact, she was downright churlish as a matter of course and surly when anyone paid her a compliment.
After a while, she just sort of disappeared, and I thought it was because her trainer was no longer around, so maybe she followed him to wherever his new job took him. However, when she reappeared at "my" gym recently, several months after her trainer left, with her old ass and thighs in tow, I deduced that she hadn't followed him at all, but had followed her nose to more than her share of Mr. Softee trucks.
Ordinarily I wouldn't give a fuck if someone gained back the weight they'd lost. I'd think it was a shame that whatever happened to her, happened, and that sooner or later she would probably lose it again, having once tasted how wonderful it felt to have weight literally lifted from her shoulders. But I must say that today, when I saw this chick with her new trainer, and she was surly and inconsiderate to those around her, I tasted a delicious sort of schadenfreude and had no qualms about internally mocking the amporhous mass of dough that her body has become once again.
fresh-baked at 02:40 PMI had a friend who lost a considerable amount of wait. As the kilograms starting slipping off, the attitude started piling on. So she lost friends as well as weight. It was almost as if we were only good enough to be her friends when she couldn't do any better (as if being skinny ought to have anything to do with that).
I'm all for self-esteeem, but there is a difference between confidence and having a superiority complex. Now everytime I think I might see her, I have this overwhelming hope that she has reverted to her initial size.
I know people who have struggled with weight gain and loss and have nothing but respect for the vast majority of them. I know it's not easy. But what's the point of looking fantastic if everyone thinks you're a bitch. That can't be too good for one's security issues, surely?
End of rant...
Offered by: maddy on June 30, 2002 6:36 PMSo let's see, Anita. This bitch's situation was so horrific that stomach-stapling was warranted, yet she had (has) no sympathy for those who shared her problem? Easy for her to say all that. Just as it was easy for her to find a way out, via surgery. I have no respect for her or her kind. I reserve my respect for people such as "Desert Mermaid" (a friend who frequently comments on this site), who is taking the long road home and is doing so with wonderful grace and respect for other people who are on the same journey.
Offered by: Jodi on June 30, 2002 6:09 PMYou made me remind myself of this woman who was at this AOL message board I used to frequent called "Big Beautiful Women" and she had gotten her stomach stapled, (hence, really taking the easy way out) and here she bitched at us whenever we complained about not being able to find nice clothes our size, or not looking pretty, and here SHE TOOK THE EASY WAY OUT!! Everyone hated her. I blocked her.
Offered by: Anita on June 30, 2002 5:59 PMOh, I couldn't agree more, Kelly. It was this woman's attitude that led me to my bout of schadenfreude. I wanted to say to her, "Thought you were so cool, did you? Well, try to get away with being so high and mighty now, Loser ... I mean Gainer."
Don't go walking around thinking you're The Shit when your actions force me to deem you merely a piece of it.
Offered by: Jodi on June 30, 2002 3:23 PMTo Jodi's point -- so true. It's just a turnoff when someone can't accept a compliment. I confess that I do fall into that trap occasionally, but I try very hard to be gracious and not let my own demons prevent me from being pleasant and polite.
Offered by: Kelly on June 30, 2002 3:20 PMI'm with Tess AND I have noticed a trend among people who lose a lot of weight and look great for the first time in a while: they are obnoxious. How does someone go from being insecure to vain overnight? A friend's mother-in-law lost a lot of weight last year. When I saw her several months ago, I complimented her on a job well done. "You look fantastic," I said. She smiled and said, "I know." I'm all for being self-confident, but she was completely over the top. I mentioned it to my friend in passing and she commented that this woman is now driving everyone nuts. All of a sudden she's a diet and exercise "expert" and she's insulting everyone else's weight. What a loser.
Offered by: Kelly on June 30, 2002 3:18 PMSelf-esteem, schmelf-esteem. If you respond to a sincere compliment with a sneer, I don't give a damn about your self-respect. If you have none for yourself, at least try to have some for others.
Offered by: Jodi on June 30, 2002 3:15 PMYou kind of have to wonder what terrible events have occured in her life to make her so disrespectful of others, don't you? I feel sorry for people like that, quite frankly, because people who demonstrate those qualities are never happy, contented people with positive self-esteems. The people that don't get as much leniency with me are people that have TOO much self-esteem and therefore, feel everyone around them to be inferior and undeserving of respect. Those are the ones that are most likely to feel my wrath... :)
Offered by: Tess on June 30, 2002 3:00 PM
