- Young men should never smoke pipes. (I mean the kind that a professor would cradle in his palm while wearing a tweed sportsjacket with leather elbow patches.)
- tHeRe iZ nEVeR aN eXCusE tO tYpE LiKE tHiS.
- Don't include me on the list of people to whom you are forwarding "inspirational" email. I detest that "Footsteps in the Sand" blatherskite and anything of its kind. Don't send me any hilarious variations, either. They suck even more than the original.
- Don't ever tell me you're "ROTF", unless you truly are. And don't make matters worse by appending "LMAO" to it, unless you can supply irrefutable evidence that your ass has, indeed, separated itself from your person. Hyperbole and acronyms certainly have their place, but not when (ab)used this way.
- Don't assume that because I choose the vegetarian "meal option" when flying, I don't want the brownie or cake. Just because I don't eat the meats doesn't mean I don't eat the sweets.
- Never call me on the phone (we could end this one right here ... but wait! there's more!) to tell me you have nothing to say.
As is always the case with my lists, this one is by no means complete. Tonight is no different from any other night. (This isn't, after all, Hanukkah.)
I don't usually post LOL or any variation on my site, although I do like to *snort* a lot, and I love "heh" to show that I am midly amused.
I do use LOL in email sometimes, though, because it's wayyyyyy fucking faster than typing, "OH MY GOD GIRL YOU CRACK ME UP" every time someone makes you laugh, and really, it happens a lot, because I wouldn't talk to boring people regularly via email.
Offered by: Candi on July 8, 2002 6:46 PMHi.. found your blog via another.
I totally agree with all the comments here. Jodi, as for those comments about the l33t guy, that's all just so true.
As an Englishman living in the US, I've come to understand why American English differs from British English, and I thoroughly approve.
Back in the 'old country' a lot of people think Americans spell things differently because they're ignorant about the English language. I've come to find that a lot of the differences are deliberate, to distinguish America from their former colonial masters. Good for the US I say! You can't beat sheer bloody-mindedness (real word folks), as a reason to do something differently :)
But as you all say, this 'hacker speak' (the 'l33t' stuff) is just wank. It, combined with the iNtErCaPpInG bullshit, just makes the writer look like some desperate middle-class white kid, trying to sound like he's a gansta from the hood. It's pathetic.
Oh, and another thing. People (again, invariably white middle-class male teens) who say "Kewl". It's 'cool' you fucking idiots!
Oh and those people who say 'aks' (or axe) when they mean 'ask'. It's only three letters you morons! Get a clue!
Hem..... I'm ranting again, aren't I? (eww bad grammar?) . Oops.
Offered by: Max on July 8, 2002 11:27 AMPathetic, isn't it? What's even worse than the people who write it online are the people who speak is offline. I've known people who actually say "brb" and things like that. Losers!
Offered by: Kim on July 8, 2002 10:21 AMScott: What the FUCK. I never knew that that kind of garbage had a name. I just wondered why the hell I see so many sites where people use "w00t" (I immediately leave when I see that).
I just found this. Seems the person who wrote the crap on this "l33t" site hasn't even mastered the English language (note the hideous misspellings). What the hell is he doing, then, discussing some bullshit "language"? Is this a way of bailing out of English, a language he fails to grasp? Give me a fucking break. Learn English first. Master it. Learn how to spell, for god's fucking sake.
Check out No. 7 on the list on the site I noted in this comment. I would comment on it but doing so would make my head explode or implode.
(Just how "l33t" is someone who spells "abbreviation" as "abriviation" anyway?)
FEH! KAKA! Shit like this makes me see all shades of red.
Offered by: Jodi on July 8, 2002 8:56 AMIt could be worse, Joan -- they could be speaking l33t, which is something I truly abhor.
w00t! d00d!
p03t (this one is poet, somehow)
The 3 is actually an "E" which makes l33t into leet, which means Elite.
Feh. It's only going to get worse.
Offered by: Scott on July 8, 2002 7:56 AMThE PeoPlE WhO tYpE lIKE thIS often do that other crap with all the symbols to make little butterflies and stuff. StOp It AlReAdY! It's creepy!
Offered by: Joan on July 8, 2002 4:12 AMi must cop to the LOL thing. but, in my defense, i only use it with my ex-boyfriend, when we're chatting. i see it as sort of a polite chuckle stripped down to its most basic form.
i fucking hate emoticons too, but i usually toss them around when i'm being sarcastic, because most people are too daft to pick up on sarcasm over the computer. the minute i hit a webpage covered in smilies, i take it as my cue to leave.
Offered by: laura on July 8, 2002 3:33 AMJess, I raise my glass and "clink" it against yours. Cheers, kid.
Offered by: Jodi on July 7, 2002 9:00 AMAs an addition to #4, I would die happy if I never saw another person use LOL as punctunation.
"so i ran into him and he said hi but i didn't say hi back lol i wonder if he thinks i'm mad at him lol but i don't care lol"
Bleh.
Offered by: Jess on July 7, 2002 3:04 AMhehe ... I love your lists.
1. I don't think I have *ever* seen a young man smoking a (tobacco) pipe!
2. i aGrEe; i also think that the whole lower case thing was cool when e.e. cummings did it ... beyond that, uhh no.
3. Note to self: stop sending Jodi inspirational email messages.
4. I never use the ROFL variations because I don't know what most of them mean.
5. Meat: bad. Brownies: gooood.
6. Agreed - and don't call me to tell me that you just emailed me something, either.
Offered by: Kelly on July 7, 2002 12:39 AMI can honestly say that Kim completely cracked me up with that one.
Offered by: Scott on July 6, 2002 11:18 PMWhy do we read unleavened blogs on thi-? No, wait. You threw me with the Hanukkah reference.
Offered by: Kim on July 6, 2002 11:12 PM
