Right on target, Jodele! I have some equally disgusting stories to share with you when we talk - call me! People(?) and their opinions! Vile, stupid, merciless, heartless and totally unasked for and unwarranted. Better to say nothing. As Sis and I say - "NEN"!

People always say dumb things at horrid times, especially when other people lose "loved ones." Not an excuse for them. (That newscaster was referring, probably to the initial, shock-stage of grief. But even when saying something silly, one should qualify it.)
After my mom died and when a friend's father died, we traded "comfort" stories, highlighted with the old she "is better off," or "it's for the best," because she/he (not a transexual, don't be confused) was suffering from an illness. Of course, what would be for the best would be the person not being sick to begin with, right? Anyway, the newscasters, particularly around this time of the Runnion murder, are blathering idiots. If I see one more "What Can 40-pound children Do to Fight Off their Attackers," I'm going to bind and gag Connie Chung.

And to think, I can still bust out in tears (usually when driving, alone) over my sister's death almost 12 years ago. What a freak I am...

That guy Schuller (I'm sorry that I am not able the conjure up a title that captures the width and the depth of my feelings for him) has said something that I find to be exactly what I would expect from him and his ilk.

The loss of a loved one (especially one's child) and the resulting grief is impossible for anyone else to experience, least of all, prescribe. Each one's experience is unique and virtually impossible for others to truly appreciate, much less set limits on.

One can express sorrow, give what support and assistance as is possible, and just be there for the ones who have suffered the loss, in case by some happy and unexpecteed coincidence, one might be able to supply something that makes the pain somewhat more endurable.

i think that it will take a while get back to normal for the mother/father. grief doesn't end when a loved one dies, you just find better ways to hide it, covering it up in the back of the subconsious.

Amen, Jodi.

You know, those platitudes and bumper sticker slogans that people recite at such times -- they only comfort the sayer. The SAYER is the person who is looking for an easy answer, a quick way to resume his or her own life without being effected by the reality of the situation. To the person in grief, whether it is a broken love affair, the death of a loved one, or the loss of a job -- grief is a very personal matter. No one on the outside can know what the person is feeling, and no one on the outside can evaluate how the griever is moving through their grief "process."

I worked with a man who had just lost an infant child, and he told me that most marriages don't survive the loss of a child because the two people grief differently, and the quicker one thinks the slower one is taking too long, and the longer one thinks the quicker one isn't experiencing the same loss. It's a solitary journey for partners, too, even though it effects the relationship in a major way. [By the way, my friend and his wife made it -- but they made MANY changes to their relationship, it wasn't the same relationship or understanding they had before their son died at all.]

The good Reverend's comments were quite legitimate. I believe he was basing his calculations on F.G. Prince's seminal work, "Precise Time Tables of Processes Previously Thought Unpredictable in Duration."

Some other assertions from Dr. Prince's book:

- It takes exactly one month to to regain your sense of dignity after being caught eating multiple boxes of marshmallow peeps in one sitting. Add one week to the process if you were intentionally biting off the heads first.

- A restaurant patron upset about sub-par service will feel better precisely forty-two minutes after leaving a ten-percent tip.

- Give or take an hour, a youngest sibling's shame from being given his or her first wedgie by an older sibling will dissipate in eighteen years on the dot.

Dr. Prince was a revolutionary and an under-appreciated prodigy. He died today at the age of seven. The world will grieve his loss. For exactly one year.

Well said Jodi. Can't believe someone in Schullers' position could have said something so inane. It's one thing when people who don't know any better mouth platitudes...he DOES know better. I am guessing that the whole thing hit him very hard and he put his defenses up ... in the form of just not being present to what happened. He just didn't want to be there... and a platitude came out to take his place. Crummy sub.

It's been 11 months since my beloved father died, suddenly and unnecessarily. I can state for a fact that you aren't "over it" in a year. Grieving is an ebb and flow process and different for everyone. And though it's devastating to lose a parent, it's against the natural order of things to lose your child. No-one should have to bury their baby. My heart aches for Samantha's mother.

People who assume that other people should be treated like machines make me angry.

Ridiculous statement. I also don't like, "It's time to move on..." or "They're moving on..." All experiences, good or bad, effect your live. Statements like these trivialize and present a notion that our experiences are unlinked little packages that we move into and out of.

For any person, let alone a person of the cloth, to assign an abritrary deadline to grieve, is blasphemy!

Well said. :)

Scott, I share your platitude attitude. You know how people say, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?" Well, quite often when someone says something "nice", it's so bland and pre-packaged (like a laugh track) that I wish they wouldn't have said anything at all.

Meaningless platitudes annoy the shit out of me. If you can't say something that isn't a canned response/comment, don't say anything.