You know how when you meet someone and you think he's pretty close to perfect, and you start to think that he might be "The One" if single, the person you could actually see yourself with for the next few decades; if "attached", the person with whom you can finally have that sordid, illicit affair you've been craving for oh so many years and then he either says or does something that immediately dissolves all of those fantasies and you can't kick his sorry ass off the pedestal fast enough? Or you glance down and see that he's wearing sneakers with his suit or these with anything, and any attraction you felt for him just moments ago immediately shrivels up and dies?
Those things are what Kelly and I call "deal-breakers". Of course, there are the common infractions such as horrid shoe selection, lip-smacking while eating, and blowing of the nose at the table, all of which are easily corrected (but still cause me to sneer and think, "Oh why should I even bother? He should know this by now.") Then, naturally, there are the more serious crimes, such as smoking, using a cell phone at the table, and interrupting me when I speak. And of course, there are the unforgivable and truly heinous, such as a dislike of animals, a tendency toward serial killing, and horseshoe-shaped pinkie rings. But these are just a few.
So tell me: what breaks the deal for you? What sin (sartorial, personal, social, or otherwise) do you find unforgivable? In other words guys, what makes you go limp immediately; and girls, what makes you pat yourself on the back for not bothering to shave your legs before the date?
(Just a suggestion: The more frivolous, the better.)
fresh-baked at 09:53 AM
That damn "Stop Road Rage" sticker. Every last one of those that I've seen has belonged to someone who was invariably pissing off the entire interstate for 5 miles in each direction.
Rubber-Neckers... yeah its niffty, but its NOT MOVING. get a glance and move on so the rest of us can.
Phsycotics - yeah I know its a habit.... but why do I always find em??
spell checkers - if I wanted my spelling checked, I'd type slower or I'd do it myself.
Grahmer Chekers - above see
Shoppers - three word : In Get Out
And I quote: "Eeeewww Thats GROSS!!!!" No, its hairy, stiff, fleshy, and throbbing. Now suck.
I'm sorry. I have an oral fixation. I'll get a tattoo if that helps. I want those like pink bumps, all three of them. Learn to relax and you'll find it enjoyable.
Self Centered - Not like preferences, but how EVERY LAST DAMN thing has to be about YOU. share the freaking planet already
Volvos, Mini-Vans, and any vehicle rated as "the Safest"
Any one who drives a vehicle because it make them feel so seperated from the road. YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT
Not shaving. You don't like it when I have a shadow, why the hell would you think I would like it?
Those designs on the back of the finger nails.
That damn Urban Head thing.....
Snapping your fingers at me will get them promptly removed.
Not having a sense of humor. and yes, The sign that says "Watch for wheel chairs in road" is funny. I'm chuckling as I type it.
no one else has said it but.... bad kissers....just relax, go with the flow and enjoy... yet again
nail biters, knee biters, and ankle biters
anyone who doesn't understand that getting bitten on the butt is a compliment.
anyone who tells me they are a web designer and then proceeds to make an attempt to inform me of how pop up windows are an excellent marketing tool will proceed to attemp to pop up thier tool.
wearing the t-shirt of the band you are going to go see. just die right off. "Don't Be That GUY!!!" - PCU, great film
Telling me that sharing a shower/bath isn't romantic.... shut up and let me wash your hair, you might just like it.
Hurt an Animal and Die, do not go to prison, do not collect a settlement for gunshot wounds.
OK, I just gotta stop.....
well maybe not
I know waxing sucks, I've done it, but really its more of a mustache than my goatee.
Tapping finger nails on teeth
"Huh?" - nuff said
Filing your nials in public.... no not your desk, the lobby of a restaraunt public
Public Breast Feeding. I love me some lactation, but for the love of god, go find a corner or something.
Fuck Trophies - No not that you had a kid from a previous or you got lurched, I mean the whole Its my job. Goverment cheese is not a life style.
Non-smoker telling smokers to quit because they don't like it. Not because it bad for them, just because a non doesn't like it.... (I'm not telling if I...)
people driving on a spare for 4 months
I eat meat, you don't, great. Your choice, my choice.
Pro whatever... its your thoughts, dont' feel obligated to make it mine.
Honking your horn at 4am to get someones attention in the house.....
ok... just gotta stop.... starting to get worked up
This is my first time posting here and I know I'm a couple days late.... but I just couldn't resist.
The deal breaker for me is a man who cries excessively. In my opinion, it's o.k. if a man cries because someone is sick or dead, etc... However, I once dated a man in his late twenties who cried when I hurt his feelings; when I spent to much time talking or hanging out with my friends; and once he cried at a party because he had been stung by a bee (no, I am sad to say he was not allergic!!).
I guess I expect a man to be as tough or maybe even a little tougher than I am. I really think in my ex-boyfriend's case, the tears were a method to manipulate me to do or feel what he wanted me to do or feel at that particular time. To quote Kelly, "Buh, Bye!"
Hey, Don? Did you, uh, read the question?
I find it interesting that the basic concern is what does "the other" have to do/avoid doing/being to please me in an effort to avoid my rejection.
Is there a concern as to what I can try to do to contribute to making a relationship work?
My top ten deal-breakers:
10. Stupidity. That one can be tricky; you don't often find out about it until you're trapped with a fucking fiance and wish you could just strangle him with a telephone wire every time he opens his goddamn mou ... uh.
8. Stolen from Tess: that constant sexual innuendo thing. ("Do you want to go to a movie?" "Yeah, let's do that." "Do what? Heh heh heh. Damn, I'm funny.")
7. Answering the cell phone in the middle of a conversation.
6. Tight pants. Please, please don't.
5. An Ecstasy habit. There is nothing on this blessed earth that is more annoying.
4. Stolen from revolution9: living with parents. My ex did. Chaos ensued.
3. Neat freaks. I don't have a problem with them personally, but it definitely means they can never come to my apartment.
2. Any guy who doesn't watch some kind of sport. None of my friends will listen to me rant about the hockey playoffs for two hours; I need someone who will.
1. Romantics. Bleh.
Ugh, overly sappily romantic guys - guys who listen to celine dion and other love balladeers and want to play them by candlelight, anything like that makes me cringe.
Lack of ambition/goals.
I could go on for days....
ah, the proud proclamation of "It's my way or the highway."
not when it's given as an ultimatum, mind you... when it's given as a warning on the first date. "You might as well know now, it's my way or the highway."
i am then forced to say "oh, ok. i'll take the highway."
i'm also disturbed by bad call-back skills, but that isn't so instantly recognized.
Big one (serious): Blind hatred. Honestly, if she's got a knee-jerk hatred for any group of people based on race, religion, nationality, whatever... it's over. I know it sounds ridiculously PC, but I just can't deal with that. I've had a few girlfriends wait until they got to know me better before they started letting me in on their li'l prejudices, and gadzooks is that ever ugly.
- unchecked facial or breast hair
- a deep devotion to country music
- public projectile bulemia (PPB)
- small vaginas. There, I've said it. After your first time, it shouldn't take the Army Corps of Engineers to figure out how to make sex with you possible. Am I right, men? Back me up here! 8-)
passive/nihilistic/cynical about life
toe nail eating
falling down a lot
Use of the word "anyhoo". That and a small cock.
Smoking - there's no need. Really.
Facial hair - I can still see it even when it's bleached
Someone who plays mind games
People without a sense of humour - God knows you'd need one on a date with me!
Baggage from previous relationships or parents.
Lack of imagination - you named your cats Peaches and Cream? You dullard!
Dullness in bed - if your idea of kinky is "leaving the lights on", forget it.
Naff taste in music - unless you're a really camp gay guy, why would anyone be into showtunes? Save the C&W shite for the truckers.
Irritating, repeated phrases such as, "Know what I'm saying?", or "yeah?" as a form of sentence ending (see Jamie Oliver)
Upspeak - where everything, including statements of fact, sounds like a question.
Granola Nazis - Yeah, your lifestyle's real wholesome, now quit preaching at me. I like an occasional burger, get over it.
Eating with the mouth open whilst chewing.
Born-again Christianity - if this date's going to work, I need to be the centre of your universe ;-)
Chris, I totally agree with both of yours. I could tell you stories about how both of those broke deals for me -- and I will, when I see you for lunch. (That is, after we eat. No need to destroy either of our appetites.)
Frivolous - Outies
Serious - Fat (Hey, the girls had no problem admitting size matters. Well, it does to me too.)
Smoking, chewing with their mouth open, blowing their nose at the dinner table, whinning, immaturity, someone without a sense of humor, doesnt get my sarcasm, someone with body odor, someone who thinks calling me once a week is being romantic, "computer" talk, "wrestling" talk, plays games (I hate that, and guys do it all the time to make me jealous..stupid), doesnt have a job. Thats all I can think of. I dont care if he has a small cock, he can pleasure me in other ways:) Ha..I just described my last boyfriend. Thank goodness my new on is so much better!!
After I throw a bag of kittens in the river, what do you and I have a smoke (or a dip of "chaw") over my best friend's house. I'll take some cash out of his wallet and dump the loser! Just so long as we don't do anything with your Mother (God, I hate her. Heck, I don't care for you, but you've always got booze. And you KNOW what booze does to me, and what I do to YOU afterwards! Heh, heh, heh)
So I was looking at myself in the mirror and admiring what I saw. Some sitcom was on, but I just didn't get it. They had some jokes about "female body parts" using language that just DISGUSTED me! Although your parts are quite the "all beef sampler", if you know what I mean! (Heh, heh, heh)
So how about it, babe? Drive over here and pick me up so we can go to MickeyD's? Tell you what, I'll pay for my own super-sizing!
I'm shuddering over here at quite a few of these.
"revolution9"'s last item reminded me of something that will break ANY deal: a limp handshake. I can't stand when either sex proffers a hand that seems boneless and muscle-free. And when a man has a limp handshake, I can't help but think that the limpness is not just limited to his hand.
All right. I just turned my own stomach.
Smoking's a biggie. Smoking would disqualify anyone. Ditto use of any substance stronger than alcohol (in moderation) and caffeine.
Facial hair. Eeeewww.
Living with parents that are not aged or infirm. I'm in my mid-20s. If you're old enough to be dating me, you're old enough to get your own place, you slacker!
Any sort of body odor that indicates a less-than-intimate relationship with soap.
(Sorry, Jodi... you DID say frivolous, after all...) A birthday anywhere between September 21 and November 21. I don't do Scorpios and Libras.
Any kind of prejudiced statements and/or other obvious displays of ignorance
Spitting when speaking. Ew!
Unprovoked assholiness, or the need to "get back" at someone for their own assholiness, as opposed to just chilling about minor stuff. An example would be riding in the car with someone who gets cut off by someone else. The test of assholiness is whether this person gets over it with an interjection of, "You jerk!" or whether this person subsequently rides the cutter-offer's bumper, honking and gesturing, until I myself want to shoot the person driving in a fit of passenger-road-rage.
Over-touchy-feeliness. You must get to know me VERY well before you flop all over me like your bones have turned to Campbell's soup and you've been dipped in glue. Come to think of it... nobody knows me that well.
Likewise... having a hand that's too warm and moist when I shake it. Ugh. I don't want to know where that hand's been, but would you please WASH it before touching mine?
I'm sure I could come up with more...
I'm with Sassy on this one.. a small cock just turns me off. That and a guy who always knows more about any subject than I do especially when I can tell he's clearly lying about it.
me: "Did you hear about X?"
him: (breaking in between hear and about) "Oh yeah, last week.."
1. Dislike/disrespect for animals.
3. Chewing Tobacco
4. Lack of integrity/loyalty
5. Doesn't like my mother (impossible, but...)
6. Doesn't like me. (even more impossible)
7. Making sexual innuendos out of EVERYTHING said. The occasional is fine, but let's be more original than using sex as the punchline for every damn joke.
9. No sense of humor
10. Too easily offended. Sorry, I don't want to have to censor myself everytime I open my mouth.
chicks that constantly talk about their clothing purchases..."I got this at the sample sale...blah, blah, blah..."
Hey, at least I'm honest.
Being mean to animals. You can be mean to people (adults) as long as they deserve it.
Blowing smoke on my face...or anybody's face.
Having back hair that's longer than the fibers on that cheap toupee and wearing a wife beater--in public or private.
Using the same seven words over and over interspersed with "you know." No! I don't fucking know! Get a vocabulary!
Not getting irony.
Taking the woes of the British Royal family seriously.
Spandex. Unless you're onstage dancing with the Martha Graham troupe, spandex is gross. I tell you! Gross!
Not understanding that God has a sense of humor.
I can handle pretty much anything, but shoving an ice pick into my chest would make me sit back and re-examine the relationship.
I mean, I knew about the penchant for balancing the hair dryer on the bathtub's ledge, the silly habit of testing the various firearms without checking to make sure I wasn't in the line of fire, and even the cute way she throws gasoline on me with her lit cigarette in her mouth and all.
Normally, I'd simply make sure she took her medication (by blow gun if I can't get close enough with the hypodermic needle) and laid her lovingly into her bed in her cage in her pit in our sub-basement beneath the 4 inch concrete portal. (Ah, how I remember our wedding day. Mr. Bobo the cat performed the ceremony beautifully, and I remember her saying "I Do" through the ball gag. At least it sounded enough like "I Do" for Mr. Bobo, and he bound us in eternal, irrevocable blood vows. And when I lowered her across the threshold, I swelled with pride as her eyes grew wide with amazement at her spacious pit/cage combination. She was squirming with joy!)
But if she ever stabbed me with an ice pick, I'd have a lot to think about; What, apart for the ritual cuttings, did I ever do to her? Why does she have all this anger built up inside her horribly mutilated and violated body? How did she get through the 4 inch concrete portal? If the sucking chest wound is brimming, but not overflowing, with blood, was it a ventricle she punctured or the aorta? Deep questions to ponder for sure.
I'd stay and disuss the further, but Mr. Tickity-Tockity tells me it's time to lower the lotion down to it... er... her...
Being mean to - or simply not LIKING - animals would be an absolute deal-breaker. If someone, for example, had been attacked by a dog or something ... I'd understand being afraid of them. But if they didn't want to work through the problem ... buh bye.
Also, any tendancy to ENJOY burping, farting or grunting would do it. hehe