Walking south on Broadway, below Union Square. A youngish, rather attractive guy extends his hand and tries to give me a glossy postcard. I don't take it.
HIM (with incredibly bad fake English accent): Excuse me, Miss. Do you by any chance like stand-up comedy?
ME (a la Daria): I hate to laugh.
Him: ?
I had to laugh, but only when I was far enough away so he couldn't hear me.
fresh-baked at 07:56 PMclassic!
Offered by: c.h. on August 28, 2002 8:33 AMI hope that wasn't this guy I know; Ed:
http://www.edhelms.cc
'Cause he's a stand up comedian, and I beleive he does fake british accents too....I don't think Ed's that desperate though.
Offered by: Anita on August 27, 2002 10:44 AMOr, even better than just saying you have a terrible disease...you should have pulled down your pants and pooped on him!!
"See how much you like "stand up comedy" when your stupid fake English pants are covered in Human Filth!!!" you could say.
Offered by: aaron on August 27, 2002 10:21 AMI'm with revolution9, pick a funny disease. Like scabies. (I laugh at the very word... SCABIES!)
Chronic Acute Rectal Disfunction Syndrome works too, then you can tell the Brit-wannabe that "it's not in the CARDS". I sphinct he'll get the point and stop being a poop. Butt in any case, by that time you'll have pinched off and he wont be able to give you squat.
Offered by: Thomas on August 27, 2002 10:08 AMI dunno, Finny... I think if I were going to use a disease as an excuse, I'd at least use something catching. Leprosy, for example. That's a good one.
Offered by: revolution9 on August 27, 2002 8:42 AMThose fucking Brits, eh? Fucking white fuckers. With their pasty skin and poor dress sense. They can all fuck off, those fucking white boys.
Offered by: Pete on August 27, 2002 5:19 AMThat sounds rather nice. In L.A. we're not allowed to speak in public.
Offered by: Dan the Goose on August 27, 2002 4:41 AMIf there are people with unauthorised English accents, I may have to call in the Local Limey 45 .
Offered by: Max on August 26, 2002 9:15 PMMy favorite response to the "Hey, do you like stand up comedy" guys is:
"Not since I was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma."
Offered by: Finny on August 26, 2002 8:01 PM
