Just say no to white shoes. It's easy. Don't do it. Ever.

Off-white and beige are just as hideous. I'm sorry. Don't do it.

Dark nylons with dark shoes. Trust me, I'm no fashionista, but I do know that white shoes are incredibly unacceptable.

I had to wear white shoes at my graduation, and thank god they got ruined in the rain that day.

Actually, I meant velvet not only on the feet, but on the rest of the body as well. Gauche to wear velvet between Easter and Labor Day. Chic the rest of the year.

Billy "White Shoes" Johnson was a wide receiver/kick returner for the National Football League's Houston Oilers and Atlanta Falcons in the 70's and 80's who pioneered the wearing of white cleats and was one of the earliest practitioners of the "touchdown dance".

Your prize, Max, is that you get to walk a mile in the black shoes in the original photo:

So, what does everyone think about white shoes?

First off, let me state that I own no white shoes of any kind.

Secondly, those stilletoes looked like S&M foot fetishist ones.

Thirdly, has anyone else spotted that the image is actually a photographic negative, probably because you can't get shoes like that in white?

Do I win a prize for uncovering your photo scam?

Nicole: I could not agree more.

Kevin: Are you trying to tell me that you actually wore white socks this summer? I feel faint.

Nancy: I'm "on the fence" about beige-y stuff. It reminds me of hideous wall-to-wall carpeting.

Amanda: Send me a picture of the Vans. I'm a little scared.

Melanie: The pants with skirt thing is horrifying. I've seen it here, too.

Liane: Mmm-hmmm! Get over here. We'll have lunch and talk about this.

Maddy: Join Liane and me.

Joan and JEfromCanada: I guess it's a good thing neither of you shares my bed ...

Rev9: I actually dig velvet shoes, but only if they're "funky" and retro. Black velvet skimmer pumps with gold crests, on the other hand, make me bleed from the ears.

Dan: I also have your straw hat here!

Jason: I'm cringing. Audibly.

Aaron: May I suggest white gogo boots? See, I actually like them. White shoes nyet. But gogo boots? Fab!

Jay: Your white ensemble should be retired as well. But this just means that you can start sport the basic black accoutrements again! Yee-hah!

Anita: Little kids can get away with it, yes. And brides, if they insist on being painfully traditional. But high school graduations? Nyet, dear girl!

Tim: I have NO idea who Billy Johnson is. Should I?

Well, Billy Johnson looked good in them after Labor Day.

(Do you realize there is not a single photo of Billy "White Shoes" Johnson where you can see his white shoes anywhere on the Internet? Somebody call ICANN, this is a travesty!)

Weddings and high school graduations (if you're the one who's graduating) shold be the only times you should wear white shoes.

And I guess little kids can get away with it too.....

Birkenstocks rock. And you can wear them year round w/ socks. (Come on you know you want to) :o)

What about my white leather harness and assless chaps?

Well then, just what the hell am I supposed to wear with this?

I've been looking for my other white Birkenstock. Thanks.

Out with the white shoes, in with the velvet!

Man wearing white shoes and white belt to match: Full Cleveland

Man wearing white shoes; no white belt to match: Half Cleveland

I'm with Joan... OUCH was the only thing I could think of!

Ouch.

Oh, but the stilettos on the other hand ... FUN!

i thought those "no white shoes after labor day" fashion rules were defunct now.

then again, i'm in boulder, where apparently, it's ok to wear a skirt AND pants ... all at the same time!

I have white Vans shoes. They are my kick around, great with jeans, walking across campus shoes. They are white, with some pink on them...I am pretty sure those are okay right? I never really thought about white casual shoes as being bad, but I know white heels and dress shoes are bad any time of the year.

How about off-white? Is off-white okay?
Beigey things like skirts and stuff?

I am ahead of you I have put away both my white shoes and hose.

My sister made me wear white shoes when I was her bridesmaid. If that wasn't enough there was the lilac chiffon dress with puff sleeves and lacy petticoat. Oh, and the white lace stockings. I know it was the early 90s, but that is just wrong it's unforgiveable.

The on-point ballet slippers/stilletos are kind cute... in a scary, painfully dainty kind of way.

Oh white shoes. Truly a fashion faux pas.

Then there are the women who wear dark hose with white shoes. They are just in a class all by themselves.

Oh the horror of it...