Who among us has not received "spam" email from some enterprising company, promising us a bigger penis or fuller breasts? Promising us that if we use their product we can gain those few extra inches that are sure to be crowd-pleasers at our next social gathering? I know I've received my share. And let me just tell you right now to save your money. My penis is no bigger today than it was weeks ago. And my breasts? Well, my cups are not runningeth over either. (Here's where I urge you to resist the temptation to tell me I'm a "sucker" or "such a boob" — fun references to the body parts in question.)
Well, all hope is not lost. I've found something that I'm confident will yield results. And although my male readers may think, at first glance, that the site I've linked to only benefits the ladies, rest assured that, as the site remarks, the activity endorsed therein, although only literally applied to women, is desired by men as well. So I don't think I'm stretching it when I say that everybody will be happy!
So go! Without further ado! And, as always, enjoy!
P.S. I don't want to hear no lip or nothin' from anyone about the inappropriateness of the link. You should know enough about the way I "work" here to know you should hover over my links before clicking on them.
umm why the fuck would anyone want a stretch volvo? smacks of deciet to me.
Offered by: Innocent on September 28, 2002 8:51 PMSome guidelines for Ideal Labial Size (ILS):
- Fully stretched labia should not exceed length of legs for obvious sanitary reasons.
- When labia is flapped rapidly, a woman of average weight should be able to hover, but not to fly.
- When a straightened finger is joggled between labia, the ideal sound to hear is "flabba-badabba-badabb!" If you hear something more like "floobba-dooba-doobadooba!" you may have stretched too much. "Fwit! Fwit! Fwit!" indicates some stretching is necessary.
I hope this helps.
Offered by: adam on September 28, 2002 7:41 PMIf any women disagree with the results of the above test , I am available to give a second opinion.I may not be a qualified gynocologist but I will have a DAMN good look. ;-)
Offered by: Ritchie on September 28, 2002 12:44 AMUmm..I got a 95.
The quality of your vulva is of 95 points.
Based on the answers that you have provided, your Vulva and Vagina is of excellent quality
Ha..can I brag to people now??:)
Offered by: Amanda on September 27, 2002 9:38 PMHah!
The quality of your vulva is of 0 points.
Based on the answers that you have provided, your Vulva and Vagina is of extremely poor quality
It really says that...really!
Ok I am spending too much time on this.
Offered by: cmiper on September 27, 2002 7:33 PMI took the test and scored a big, fat zero. A zero. It's hideous. Hideous, I tell you!
Offered by: Mad Genius on September 27, 2002 6:45 PMSurprisingly...nobody has posted their results. ;)
According to this, I rank in at 60.5 points.
Ummm...wait..something must be wrong here?!?
Offered by: cmiper on September 27, 2002 6:25 PMdo you expect us to believe you were really looking for stretch volvos???? ;)
Offered by: JenBen on September 27, 2002 5:23 PMAnswer:
why not?
That was another question, wasn't it?
Offered by: Craig on September 27, 2002 5:16 PMuh...
Offered by: jhames on September 27, 2002 4:31 PM"All women at one point or in other have had concerns about how their labia appears and how aesthetically pleasing it will be for her mate, its a silent insecurity that all women suffer from..."
I thought it was just me! It's so good not to be the only one! *schniff* :')
Offered by: revolution9 on September 27, 2002 3:57 PMThat is far and away the worst idea I have ever heard.
Offered by: aaron on September 27, 2002 3:42 PMI'm glad you posted it, MG. You forgot to mention that we named that puppet "Judy". And that to complement her, we will use a penis pillow from this place, name it "Punch", and then travel around the globe putting on our fabulous puppet show, "Punch In Judy".
Lovely!
Offered by: Jodi on September 27, 2002 2:57 PMHey! Look at the finger puppet I found!
Offered by: Mad Genius on September 27, 2002 2:39 PMI don't understand why anyone would want to do this?!?!?
Perhaps I need to read the site some more...
Offered by: Mary Carmen on September 27, 2002 2:34 PMHumm..well isnt that interesting. I am quite happy with the size of mine..but its good to know that there is a helpful website out there for women who are insecure about their labia size....:)
Offered by: Amanda on September 27, 2002 2:27 PMActually, DM, this didn't come to me via email. I found it while searching for something else: STRETCH VOLVOS. You know, like a limousine.
Offered by: Jodi on September 27, 2002 2:22 PMDamn. All I ever get are ads for viagra! At least you get things that are potentially USEFUL! LOL
Offered by: Desert Mermaid on September 27, 2002 2:16 PMWhoa! i forgot about the "hover" thing.
Thank goodness I am quick with the clicker.
dang! ::blushes::
Offered by: Deb on September 27, 2002 2:13 PMWoah.
Bloody hell.
Never seen one of them before.
You've defiled me.
Offered by: Pete on September 27, 2002 12:16 PMHey , great idea!! I will have to get the wife on to this so that the next time she gets falling-down drunk , I can get her home using the built in carrying handles!
Offered by: Ritchie on September 27, 2002 10:45 AMTHAT'S what was missing from the Miss America Pageant, the Labia Value competition! I think it should be at least 25% of the total score, and it should cure the ratings slide.
Offered by: tim on September 27, 2002 10:02 AMgreat, now I'm paranoid.
Offered by: Zuly on September 27, 2002 9:18 AMFINALLY!!!
Offered by: aaron on September 27, 2002 9:12 AM
