Yes! Already I have an update to the preceding post!
No, I haven't gotten out of the commitment.
I've decided to try a completely different approach, though. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.
Here I thought I had to come up with a way to remove me from the equation, when all along the focus should have been on Tony! Rather than finding a way out for me, I will find a way to permanently remove him from Equinox (murder, crippling injuries, blindness, cast him as the lead in a new Broadway musical). My problem will be solved!
So I suppose this means I must either hire a hit man, find a way for Tony to contract glaucoma, or start crackin' on some lyrics. And quick!
fresh-baked at 11:53 AMA nice batch of his favorite cookies (laced with a potent and fast-acting purgative) could be very effective, particularly in conjunction with the mysterious disappearance of every roll of toilet tissue from every Equinox restroom.
For swift and dramatic effects, I recommend using one of the hyperoxmotic compounds. Results occur within 30 minutes to 3 hours after administration and consist of sudden, violent, spasmodic and uncontrollable movements.
Offered by: Mad Genius on October 21, 2002 1:20 PMYou want I should take care of this guy for ya?
Offered by: Evil Kelly on October 19, 2002 4:15 PMI can send him my sinus infection
Offered by: Joan on October 19, 2002 4:14 PMHow many times have I told you?
DO NOT TALK TO STRANGERS. EVER.
Christ on a cracker, woman!
Why don't you just casually roll a medicine ball into his path on Monday morning so that he's temporarily incapacitated when he trips?
Offered by: Zuly on October 19, 2002 3:53 PMMusical: The Life and Times of Jodi Verse
Stage is in darkness, except for a dim pinpoint of light suspended above the stage. Chorus enters to the sound of lots of murmuring. Big orchestral climax. Pyrotechnics on each side of the stage.
Narrator: "BEHOLD!"
Jodi lowered from rafters on strings. Chorus all gasp.
Chorus: "Lo, that there be Jodi,
so svelte and web-enabled
Coming from the rafters by means uncertain
make sure you don't crash into that table."
Jodi falls to the ground and lands on a table, breaking it.
Jodi: "Ah bollocks!"
Narrator: "But look, what from yonder stage right cometh?"
Trainer (Tony) enters
Tony: "Eh up."
Jodi: "A trainer!"
Tony: "You shall follow me and get rid of all that surplus cholesterol."
Jodi: "Yes, I shall!"
Chorus: "Yes, she shall. Oh yes, she shall!"
Narrator: "And so, Jodi started going to the gym."
Chorus: (sings) "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Lights go down.
The End.
I think it needs a little bit of work.
Offered by: Pete on October 19, 2002 12:49 PM
