I'm prettier than you are.
Friday, 25 October 2002
Hanging Around

Well, it looks like there may not be a party today after all. And no, it's not because I'm panicked and curled in a fetal position underneath a bare folding table in the dark, humming "Ring Around the Rosey" to myself, slowly twisting what's left of my hair into uneven braids. You see, the thing is this: I have images to upload and "pop-ups" to effectuate, and, well, my computer seems to want to just "hang" whenever I close any sort of dialog box or pop-up window.

So unless someone can help me figure what the FLYINGMOTHERLESSFUCK heck is going on with this GODDAMNEDFUCKINGBULLSHITCOCKSUCKER silly computer stuff (Is it XP? Internet Explorer? Something astrological? A full moon? A hex?), well, there will be no party.

It's my party and I'll curse like a truckdriver if I want to.

Just an empty Ballroom with a "live chat" feature (check that out, at least), where you will find me sobbing gently, cake frosting smeared all over my teary face, hugging a stuffed one-eyed, tattered unicorn and a Barbie doll whose hair I pulled out and onto whose plastic body I've scrawled "bad words" on all the fun parts with a magic marker. Rocking back and forth and softly singing "Happy Birthday to Me" in a minor key.

fresh-baked at 08:58 AM
Comments

I finally felt it was safe to go out of my humble but safe abode since they had finally captured the sniper here in Ol' Virginia. My first outing was to be your shindig, but alas I am unable to enter the chat. It appears to be SRO. Nonetheless, as one of your newer readers I wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday with many more.

Offered by: stephanie on October 25, 2002 3:14 PM

So sorry to hear about your frustrations. Technology sucks, that is, when it isn't providing some wonderful trick at the present moment. Lovely idea... thanks for the invite... have a terrific day anyway!

Offered by: Desert Mermaid on October 25, 2002 2:51 PM

I've got the perfect solution...buy a Mac.

It will love you long after you don't feel lovable.

Offered by: Robyn on October 25, 2002 2:08 PM

Darling, I'm sorry, but I guess it's alright as I wasn't going to be able to make attendance today anyway. In other news, here's some advice from Jay... wear the shawl, wear ONLY the shawl. I trust you know what I mean.

Offered by: Scott v2 on October 25, 2002 12:11 PM

I went to the ballroom and there was nobody there but me. Just because I'm a West Coaster, did I miss out on the whole thing? I couldn't even talk to myself (but at least I didn't get "hung").

Offered by: Don on October 25, 2002 11:15 AM

Are you certain that you installed "XP"?

It might have been "NP" (Non-Partisan).

Offered by: Don on October 25, 2002 11:09 AM

Hm.. I have the service pack for XP and still have a calculator.

Happy, Happy Birthday.

Offered by: pero on October 25, 2002 10:51 AM

But beware...the service pack removes the calculator that has been part of Windows since 2.0! I mean, really, WHY?

Offered by: Jody on October 25, 2002 10:38 AM

Thanks, Lori!

My birthday is actually tomorrow, but I thought I would have this "party" today so that more of you would be around!

I'm going to try the service pack thing now.

Offered by: Jodi on October 25, 2002 10:24 AM

Have you loaded the service pack for XP? It may help. You should be able to download it from Windows Update or from the Microsoft Site. It greatly stabilizes this quirky OS.

Offered by: Thomas on October 25, 2002 10:16 AM

I told it it was pretty and that it looked thin and that its ass looked fantastic in the new pants it bought yesterday ... but still!

Offered by: Jodi on October 25, 2002 10:10 AM

Happy Birthday Jodi! "Hang" in there!

Offered by: lori on October 25, 2002 10:10 AM

I think computers "sense" our stress levels and act accordingly. Breath deeply, compliment your computer and see what happens.

Offered by: Sally on October 25, 2002 9:55 AM

Your site hung me too. I was in Netscrape. I don't know if the hang was in the comment box or not, but I was attempting to post the first comment of the day. (I have XP too...) In the other window I was trying to get back into the ballroom...

Offered by: Jody on October 25, 2002 9:31 AM

P.S. "Hanging" also occurs sometimes when I "X" out of my own comments boxes.

I'm about to hang myself.

Offered by: Jodi on October 25, 2002 9:27 AM

I know about "task manager". It's doing the "hang" too.

Offered by: Jodi on October 25, 2002 9:26 AM

There there... Your computer is merely resisting your desire for a party.

There's this fun thing called "task manager" that you can get to when you hit "Ctrl-Alt-Delete". You can use it to see what bad, oogy programs are running and stop them fom ruining your day.

Offered by: Thomas on October 25, 2002 9:16 AM