Just be careful. That's all I'm saying. Not everyone's nice.
And stop looking at me like you've been gypped. I don't give out treats unless I get a trick first. Or unless you turn one. Something like that.
So go play a little candy game/quiz thing.
And don't go knockin' on Jodi's door. She's not there.
P.S. Yes, I live in the "Big Apple". So that just adds to the hilarity and makes it extra crispy delicious, oui?
I always find that cigarette lighters make the best halloween treats. That is, next to those little 7 ounce beers.
Offered by: fred on October 31, 2002 11:06 PMAs I wrote in a comment over at Kelly's, "Forget the candy. Just hand out individually-wrapped mini-blocks of bite-sized tofu. Kids love it! Trust me."
For some nice alternatives, check out some of Robyn's suggestions.
Offered by: Jodi on October 31, 2002 5:47 PMI give carrots, onions, potatos, rhubarb out for my trick or treaters...they LOVE me!
Offered by: sally on October 31, 2002 5:32 PMThank goodness that appearances can be deceptive.
I hear that spending too much time on the Internet can give people double vision.
Offered by: Pete on October 31, 2002 1:44 PMAaron messed up?!?
whoa...
Offered by: Thomas on October 31, 2002 12:59 PMhm. It would appear as though I have messed up.
Offered by: aaron on October 31, 2002 12:38 PMFunny Story - I learned this through Michael Moore's newest film - Did you know that there has NEVER been a report of a razor blade in an apple?
EVER?
And there have only been TWO cases of Halloween-candy-poisoning EVER?
But remember, it's never too late to start, people.
AND, in both cases, the children were poisoned by FAMILY MEMBERS!!!
Funny Story - I learned this through Michael Moore's newest film - Did you know that there has NEVER been a report of a razor blade in an apple?
EVER?
And there have only been TWO cases of Halloween-candy-poisoning EVER?
AND, in both cases, the children were poisoned by FAMILY MEMBERS!!!
Offered by: aaron on October 31, 2002 12:37 PMAmen to what Thomas said.
Offered by: Max on October 31, 2002 12:34 PMI say these Trick or Treaters should be getting "Hand-ups", not "Hand-outs"; I fully intend on having those punk kids do some yard work before they get any candy from me! What kind of liberal wet dream is this "All Hallowed Eve" anyway? These kids will value that candy a lot more when they truly EARN it.
Offered by: Thomas on October 31, 2002 12:17 PMI got 9 correct on that candy quiz, but the funny thing is, I dont like chocolate. No wait, I despise chocolate. I like skittles..those are my favorite...
I dont give out candy on Halloween. I give out pencils and erasers. Not the plain yellow ones though, the cool looking ones with designs! Sure, some people may think Im mean, but at least I dont contribute to the rotten teeth in my neighborhood!
Offered by: Amanda on October 31, 2002 12:14 PMApples with razor blades? Really?
I guess I'm only used to having popcorn balls with razor blades and/or rat poison in them. I don't really remember.
The homeless guy by my train stop My therapist told me that I've been blocking out all the bad memories of my childhood.
I guess this explains why the only thing I can recall from my youth is Grover doing his "Near - Far" sketch in Swedish...
Offered by: leo on October 31, 2002 12:03 PM
