I was wondering how Equinox was going to spend the extra $5.00 a month it started extorting from its members this year. It certainly wasn't applied toward fabric softener for its limitless towel supply. Or for the Jackass R-ejection System ("JRS-2003") (Pat. Pending) I suggested.

But now I know: Free Jell-O®!

January 2004: Pudding!