Because I do not have enough do-re-mi stashed in my cleavage to see "Lost In Translation" this afternoon, I am going to the Macy*s sale instead. So instead of cutting a hole in the bottom of my popcorn cup, pulling my dick through that hole, and challenging myself to "butter" my snack, I will be emulating Wilma Flintstone and her pretty sidekick Betty Rubble as I grasp my charge-a-plate, extend my arm skyward, and giggle-yell, "Chaaaaarge it!"

So if you've been meaning to meet me in person ... if you've been aching to see me in glorious full color ... if you've been dying to buy me a pretty present and have me be present (and, of course, pretty) while you do so ... today's the day to do it. Just come to Macy*s Herald Square and look for me. It should be easy, because the store has only eight floors and only takes up an entire city block.

See you there!