Please be advised that if your age exceeds the number of fingers on one of your hands, you are never, ever, under any circumstances, permitted to handle a fork in the barbaric manner pictured above. Of course, this assumes your hand is host to the customary number of fingers and not a freakish, unsightly aberration caused by Mother Nature or your mother, JoJo Jumbohand's, tragic prenatal drug habit.

Please make a note of it.