I don't know whom (that's right, bitches, whom!) I hate more: (1) the woman who tried to cut in line at Duane Reade yesterday evening when there is no way in fuuuuucking hell she did not see that the line was at least ten deep; or (2) the placid schmucks already in line who didn't open their mouths to tell her not to do it.
Help me out. Tell me whom I should hate more. Discuss it in comments. This is your chance to shine shine SHINE, so take it. Run with it. There is one rule, though: You must indicate hatred. You cannot sully my comments by saying, "I do not think any of these people deserve to be hated." I will be forced to hate you if you even try.
Oh, and in case you're wondering (and yes, I know you are), I — from my place about eight back in that line (she was trying to cut in at around the fourth place) — had to be the one to tell this nitwit, "Uhhh, the line is back here", twice, before she removed her head from her ass and shambled her way back to the end of the line. Why oh why is it that the burden always falls on me to put people in their place? True, it is a skill of which I am very proud, but sometimes I wish someone else would just cut in and do it for me.
P.S. I am supplying a nice song for you to enjoy while deliberating your decision. It is a bit more upbeat than "We Hate Everyone", by Type O Negative, with which I delighted you on Friday.
Damn... I meant "invertebrates".
Offered by: Max on February 5, 2006 10:29 PMI say hate both parties, however, I'd hate the cutter more than the invertibrates that allowed her to cut in.
The people in line were just overly passive, and whilst that really warrants a good slap, the assertive/deliberate rudeness of the cutter deserves the lion's share of your wrath.
Another solution, is to carry a gents' umbrella, with a curved handle, that can be used to hook into the collar of, (or around the neck of) the offender, and yank them back to their proper place (the gutter). Too harsh?
Offered by: Max on February 5, 2006 10:27 PMSSOOOOOO hating the cutter. What is our city coming to when EVERYONE in line doesn't flip out when someone does this? What is going on? I've wondered this a few times lately when bitching out the cutters myself.
Offered by: jg on February 2, 2006 2:18 PMOooh... loving the bitterness. You're so going onto my blogroll (don't get too excited. Lame is the key word here).
Offered by: Shevy on February 1, 2006 11:14 PMi have a stick. i've re-appropriated it from my grade 2 teacher who used to discipline us with it - not beat, discipline. and there's nothing wrong with that.
it's my "get-my-way" or, as i like to call it, "i hate you" stick.
with it, people are poked, prodded, tapped, and smacked into proper ways of self-conduction.
with said stick, this stick-worthy woman could have been jabbed in her hindmost regions and guided, not so gently, to the back of the line. her malfeasance displayed to all.
Offered by: sass on February 1, 2006 11:18 AMThe sheeple who stood by, placidly numb to the plight of The Jode, on whose shoulders it rests to correct the annoyingly bad habits of the cretins with whom she must, unfortunately, all too often interact.
SHAME ON THEM! Meanwhile, stand back and hold my drink while I promptly kick the beeyatch's a$$ who caused all this consternation in the first place!
We've got your back, Jodi!
Offered by: Joni on February 1, 2006 2:23 AMWhy choose? There are too many choices to make in this world without wasting your time, energy and considerable brainpower on those who clearly have less of all than you, in fact they may have considerably less of these attractive attributes (got to love the alliteration) than your average invertebrate. Hate them all, it's a much more productive way to handle the situation and they'll only thank you for it when they realise what complete and utter wastes of space they actually are. Don't know about anyone else but I feel much better now I've got that off my chest. :-)
Offered by: Sarah on January 31, 2006 8:41 PMWell I hate them all. Sorry-ass-fucking-losers. I would have taken the woman's purse and beat her to death with it, and then cut off her head and put it by the cash register as a warning to others.
I did that at Macy's before Christmas and I got GREAT service and complimentary men's hosiery.
Oh, so obviously, the bitch who tried to cut in line!
Thank goodness New York has you Jodi dear! Those other poor slobs don't deserve to even BE in the same line as you!
P.S. I hope you tripped the bitch as she walked past you......
Offered by: Hanuman on January 31, 2006 5:04 PMSeeing as I just spent the day as a school nurse doing vision screening for 3rd graders who are sure to grow up to be serial line cutters, I hate the cutter. When someone cuts in line, this happens:
Kid: "Miss, he cuuuuuut me!!!"
Me: "Cutter!!! Go to the back of the line!!"
Cutters need to be taught at a very early age that cutting is NOT ALLOWED, so thank you for doing your part and telling that hag to get her ass to the back of the line!!
Well, being British, I'd have to say the woman who pushed in. Simply because taking umbrage with such people is a very un-British thing to do, because it would involve speaking aloud in public. Only crazy people speak aloud in public in Britain.
Offered by: Pete on January 31, 2006 1:22 PMI hate people who post first in the comments. What, do they have nothing better to do all day than pester Jodi with their inane drivel?
As to the subject at hand, what have Manhattanites come to that they allow line cutting? These are not the proud, confident New York City assholes of my youth in Upstate New York whom (I'm not sure if it's "whom", bitches, but I'm using it anyway!) we were all taught to hate as a matter of course. So, I guess I hate the submissive line standees more, and I'm actually kind of fond of the line cutter in a nostalgic way.
Offered by: tim on January 31, 2006 11:33 AM
