What happened to Jodihouse Forum?

A friend told me this story about...

For my geeky bretheren:

"There's no place like 127.0.0.1"

and

"C::###"

Dear Jodihouse,

I never thought anything like this would happen to me...

um...

imagine something raunchy involving "turn your head and spit"...

And Sally, yes he used you for his blanket-lust pleasure. But remember last Halloween in the field with Linus when he was busy looking for some aetherial shade to give him presents? Yes, THAT night: The night you allowed the vegetation to wrap it's vines and tendrils across your willing, eager flesh. Then the ten inches of thick pleasure pummeling your pink passion punta: Good Gourd! Now that's a GREAT pumpkin!

Focus on the oral aspect, Tim... Oh and the drilling. Don't forget the drilling...

I stop commenting for a couple of weeks, and it turns into Penthouse Forum. Ok, I guess I'll play along. I went to the dentist's office, and you'll never believe what happened next. I had a cleaning and they said I should floss more.

The story's not quite there yet, I'll work on it.

Thomas, I was used to further his blanket fetish? Now I feel worse!

Ewww.

'Good Grief!' - Charles Brown, esq. (Care of the late Charles Schultz, not to be confused with Sergeant Schultz, who saw nothing, said nothing and knew nothing.)

Jodi, I forgot to add that all the adults in their world talk so strangely because of the difficulty involved in enunciating with your mouth full of big, thick, black cock*.

Good grief!

(*Alternatively, you can refernce big, thick, white cock when referencing the enunciative difficulty in combination with my turgid member. Granted, I've never been fellated in front of a 40 year old 1st grader. Most of the time, it's been in some far away hotel by a raven haired** beauty with an ass to die for who is ravenous to return the cunnilingual favor I paid her thrice prior.)

(**Raven haired and not underaged, unlike the red haired girl who kept crying for her Mommy the entire time or the naturally curly haired girl who preferred it up the ass.)

Thomas Thomas Thomas.

You filthy fuck.

Keep on truckin'!

P.S. Keep up the good work, everyone! I really will be back sometime this month. I swear.

Sally! You should only feel used after Linus has taken his now flaccid member from your swollen and ridden-raw "front piece" (don't make me say it in front of Jodi, Mommy), pulled up his shorts and yanked his security blanket from underneath you. Didn't you notice, Sally, that while he was inside you, his fingers merely played with the fringe on that damnable piece of cloth? He was fucking the blanket Sally, at least in his mind. Your body was merely a conduit for his unholy blanket-lust. Sweet Ba-boo? No, more like "sweat baboon!"

At least, have the consolation that his blanket is not faithful. Your blockhead brother's dumb beagle has been sating his rayon/cotton fetish for years in the same manner, except using Lucy's K9 craving body in lieu of yours.

I feel so used...

A can of spam would have had enough forethought to have Howard put it in writing in the first place.

Though I did see a can of Spam Lite stumbing down the street yelling, "TrimSpa, baby!"

But you don't see anyone leaving 81 million dollars to a can of spam either...

You know, if you stick your dick in a can of spam, it's very similar to having sex with Anna Nicole Smith.

Ew! Spam-ass! Chunky, misfigured, pinkish and with small clottish bits of... What are those anyway?

So much for Kelly Ripa-esque.

Cut out the spam! (As a vegan, can you eat Spam, as it questionably does not contain any real meat anyway?)

I'm deleting all the spam now. :-(

This ain't Hawaii, but there sure is a shitload of spam around here...

As opposed to ewe. Which was my date last night.

I was wondering my your penis was soft and supple today: It was the lanolin!

Not baaaaaad, Dd: Not baaaaaad at all...

DISCLAIMER: I am not prone to repeating anything by comedians who smash vegetable matter with an oversized mallet, establish parameters for being a redneck, wear a brown bag over their head, or holler out catch phrases that include "Git" [or "Bam", but that's a different genre altogether.] However, with the following line from Dd, I must channel Triumph, the comedy insult dog*. May God have mercy on my soul.

Freshly knit wool undies anyone?

Freshly knit wool undies for me to POOP in!

(* Quotes of this nature make the little baby Jesus cry. Mr. and Mrs. Ortega prefer him to sleep in after suckling at her swollen teat like the longshoreman who impregnated her with his misbegotten seed in the first place.)

Ew.

As opposed to ewe. Which was my date last night.

Freshly knit wool undies anyone?

PMP: You know, it changes completely when you swap the first P's respresentation to be "piss" or "poop".

And oddly enough, many of the yellow shower enthusiasts are "disgusted" by the brown shower devotees (and vice versa.)

To me, a woman's "front parts" (don't make me say it, Mommy) are to be nuzzled, kissed and otherwisely pleasured with my tongue. The tangy zest of urine is NOT a turn on, nor would be the earthy stench of stool. Therefore, if a woman gets turned on voiding herself on her partner, or messily and immediately preceeding to do so right before an encounter, then there would be absolutely no way I'd do it a second time.

LOL! For real, people. Not quite PMP, but LOL.

It brings a-hole* new meaning to "tongue in cheek".

(* Yes, I went there. When will we finally recognize anallingus as an act of affection between two people, or at least between a person and an overly enthusiastic yellow lab with socks duct-taped to his forepaws.**)

(** And I went there too, although in retrospect, it was a bit ruff.)

How NUTSO is that, Ds? ALL should at least try it. Now I shall slink back into my shadow and contemplate NUTSO again.

Safe. Sane. Consensual.

I wonder how many groups use that phrase. I know of only one...

NUTSO....the after-effect of watching a BORING tennis match and having your head swivel almost off from the monotonous back and forth back and forth back and forth!

OOPS! That is NOTSO much what the question was but the nutso who just wants to be near the poor ambushed Bucky Covington....she sounds Safe and Sane. So long as its Consenual, who cares? ***now inquiring mind are dying to know who is famed for NUTSO.

Dangit, that word is forevermore stuck in my head! At least until I take my ADD meds.....hmmm, where did I put them?

Associated Press – (New York) American Idol had no comment today after one of its former contestants had a close call today outside the New York studios where LIVE! with Regis and Kelly are taped. Ousted singer Bucky Covington had just finished performing and was exiting via a side door when he was allegedly attacked by a rabid fan.

“This woman just ran up and wrapped herself around his legs and kept screaming ‘Sweet Tea! Sweet Tea! I love you, Sweet Tea!’” said one witness. “He just kept trying to get her off and security was pulling at her legs, but she just wouldn’t let go. Then she proceeded to ask him not only to autograph her chest, but what looked like a block of tofu as well!”

In the ensuing scuffle, authorities say the alleged culprit slipped away from security and into the crowd outside the front doors of the studio, where she disappeared. Police are currently searching for a ‘waifish Jew waving a block of tofu and a permanent marker.’

Representatives from LIVE! with Regis and Kelly have said they have not had any occurrences like this before, save for one. In a similar scenario, a former ousted American Idol contestant, Constantine Maroulis, was mauled outside the front door of the studio after a performance on the show. In that case, the suspect was naked and had the letters ‘CCG’ painted indiscriminately over her body. No suspect was ever caught in that case.

This latest attack comes only days after American Idol contestant Kelli Pickler received a singing gherkin telegram in which the singer allegedly pulled a pickle-dildo from his pants. That suspect is also still at large.

Compiled from wire reports.

Great.Just great. We're all here at your behest to amuse and distract you and you're off amusing and distracting yourself, obviously in some Clay Aiken kind of way.

I feel so used. I'm amuse-meat to you.

Freaks, all of ya. Freaks.

I just visited my own site for the first time in what seems like aeaeaeaeaeons ... and literally LOL.

Keep up the good work!

Upon his retirement, my Dad purchased a top of the line Cadillac with all the bells and whistles. He was bragging with his old cronies at the local golf course about all the car's features. Eager to show them off, he drove them around the outlying areas of the retirement village. They stopped to get gas at one of the more rural stations. Dad carried on and on about the car's whatsits and doosits while he pumped his own gas. He walked up to nearby counter to pay, and the yokel running the register mentioned that from what he overheard, the car sounded great. When Dad pulled out his wallet to pay, a couple of golf tees fell out. The yokel saw them and asked what they were. My dad smiled and said, "They're tees: I put my balls on them when I drive." The yokel laughed and slapped his scabbed knee, exclaiming, "Them folks at GM think of EVERYTHING!"

Yeah, Arthur Fonzarelli used to say "nutso." Which was Fonz-speak for feeling all nutso.

In 6th grade, I opened a can of nuts. Only they weren't nuts. They we flying spring-snakes covered in a leopard print fabric.

And as I stood there in my urine-soaked gym shorts outside the school cafeteria, they laughed and laughed and laughed.

But in a strange twist of fate, now it is I who is nuts, see? Isn't that ironic? I'm nuts and they're all pathetic little snakes hiding in their cans.

So who's laughing now, bitches? That's right. Who's laughing now?

The really kookie (or, if you really want to stress it, "nutso") thing about nuts, is that most of them aren't really nuts to begin with. Pecans, almonds and walnuts aren't actually nuts; they're drupes. Botanically speaking, a drupe is a fleshy (eeeew, I hate using that word to refer to non-meat foods) casing, inside which there is a pod containing a seed. In the case of our "nutty" friends, we wait for the flesh part to fall off, then we crack the pod to get to the seed.
In the case of peaches and plums, we eat the flesh and throw away the pods.
And with our other drupey friends, raspberries, blackberries and boysenberries, we just eat the whole thing.
Oh, and as for America's favorite nut, the peanut... well, those are legumes, close cousins of your friend and mine, the soy bean (which was actually named for soy sauce, not the other way around).

There's your botany lesson for the day. Wasn't that drupeso?

It's not possible for Jodi to get any MORE adorable!!

Fa misses Jowds. Come home soon!

Hope you're having a good Pesach.

once, i ate 6 entire tacos in one sitting.

You know what I love about you Jodi? I mean, besides that fuckable, spankable ass of yours, there's that wit and intellect that surges forth and strangles us with your sensibilities. Then again, you have an insight into what we thought was in plain sight and an ability to have us see it too.

But when it comes down to it, it's mostly for that fuckable, spankable ass.

I can't think of anything witty so I will just say hi and steal from someone else. Rick

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.
Sir Winston Churchill

Somewhere in Idol heaven today, a small, red-mustachioed character is sipping sweet tea and saying, "Well great southern-fried hornee-toads. We're shore gonna miis ya, ya buck-toothed varmit."

A moment of silence for Jodi' loss.

Hey hot stuff, I hope things are falling into all the right places for you.

Just thought I'd wish you a happy Pesach.

There's some kind of "I don't feel like blogging lately" virus circling the internet. Many of my favorites (including my own) went stagnant. We will continue to "bare" it all, because if I don't have stuff to read at work, I'll go nutso as well!

Yes, I want you to come back too. I miss you! No lunches. No comments either. I am bloggin my little heart out over there and no comments from you. I have to say, it has been a comment dearth for awhile now. Is anyone reading? Come over and comment. Ok? Too whiney? Sorry.

In the 70's, I was trying to be a cool guy; cool like Fonzie (honey bunny) so when I invited some guys over to the house, I said it all smooth: "You two. My house. After school. Be there." What I failed to account for was that Fonzie was only smooth like that when he was working out a little somethin'-somethin' (as the youth say in their baggy pants down to their knees and boxer-clad asses showing) with the ladies. The ridicule at the hands of my peers was as savage as it was constant. Later, at my house after school, I swore that I would never, ever try to be somebody I wasn't again. Of course, my decision could have been colored by the fact that I was orally servicing one of my invitees why the other sodomized me in a boy-on-boy-on-boy tableau that would have made Robert Maplethorpe cry in joy.

Sit on it, indeed!

(See how much better any post can be when you get some blowjob action going?)

I will not, however, regale you with the posts involving my television inspired revenge against those boys involving the nasal insertion of a rubber hose and a plate full of what can only be described as "gorilla cookies."

Hey, hey, hey!

The word "nutso" is surprisingly in line with the lives of two of my friends at the current time. Weird how the word has been used on the phone, in emails, and now on a website within the past 48 hours. Is someone trying to tell me something about my acquaintances?

Cookie!!! How dare you get it right so quickly!!!

I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles. (Insert "LOL" here, and fist to my face.)

Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to introduce you to the one and only COOKIE, my oldest (time-wise) friend! Cookie and I go way back to 1975!

Continue to leave comments -- about Fonzie, nuts, or whatever!

Why, it's Fonzie, of course.....He-y-y-y :) Or....mmmm.....Marion.....or Richie, Potsie? Oh, nutso.....

I don't know nothin' 'bout no nutso ... but waking up at 3:30am to finish work for clinical when you went to bed at 12:30am seems like it might be a lil nutso. Ah, the joys of being a Nursing student. :-/

Hi Jodi

I hope that things are OK for you.