Sixth Avenue, just below 31st Street
I've heard of wife swapping ... but this? What the —? What a sad, sad trend. Apparently, despite the saying, you can pick your family. (Please refrain from thinking, "You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose." Please do not think that. Thank you.) (Because, really, you can pick your friend's nose. Whether he or she will let you is another issue altogether.)
So, yeah. Mommy trading. I wouldn't trade mine for all the tea in Whole Foods, Sympathy for the Kettle, or this "China" place. Especially not today, which, as coincidence would have it, is her birthday.
Yes, I have a mother, and yes, that mother has birthdays just like most other mothers. Mine happens to be 70 years old* today. Please, if you are so inclined, leave your loveliest birthday wishes for her in comments (yes, they are opened once again!). You don't have to keep it clean (after all, do you really think any mother of mine would be a prude?), but at least try to keep the perversion to a bare minimum.
When I called her this morning, Shana and I sang a "Happy Birthday To You" duet. (Just between me and mew, she was a tad off-key.) I asked if she woke up any different, and she said, "I woke up in a polyester pant suit and Cobby Cuddlers. Beige. With crepe soles. My hair was dyed deep red, and you could see through it."
Ahhh, yes. Gotta love my mom. And by gum, I do.
Happy birthday, mini Mamanita!
* Yes, 70 years old. Not 70 years "young". *cringe*
See? I said 'chocolate,' and look what happened. There is a chocolate bar next to me. I just ate three pieces. That, too, is Jodi's fault.
Offered by: terry on October 25, 2006 2:06 PMDear Jodi's mum,
I apologize for being late in wishing you a happy birthday, but it's Jodi's fault. I cam never anticipate when Jodi will update her website journal (which some hate to call a 'blog.') Perhaps if I were wise in the ways of RSS Feeds, I would not need to chance upon Jodi's journal/blog and find important messages, such as the one concerning your birthday, almost a week late. She's sneaky, that daughter of yours. But she's also funny, and smart, and, I suspect, cute, but she refuses to show us a picture, so I can't say with 100% assurance that she is cute.
So, Mrs. Diverse, happy 70th, I wish you good health, chocolate, and small daily joys that are not related to chocolate, if such a thing is possible.
A better question is, "Why were you surfing the net, noticing ads for MILF-porn that may or may not refer to your beloved 70-year old mother, at 4:36 in the Blessed AM?!?"
How apropos! Spam for "milf porn"! Is someone trying to tell me my mom is a MILF?
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Good job, kidz! Keep 'em comin'!
And, uhm, Ds, don't think I don't know you typed "snatch[ed]" with raised eyebrow. ;:-)
Offered by: Jodi on October 23, 2006 9:08 AMThe question begs to be asked how Deb knows Jodi is fuzzy?...
(And just like that, I've succeeded in taking what was a beautiful tribute board to Jodi's mother and her 70 year legacy of clean, moralistic fortitude and trampled it into the murky scum of the comment log gutter. Then again, it was way to pristine in here anyway. I'm sure Jodi was wondering who had body-snatched all of her profusely perverse friends and replaced them with the cast rejects from the original 'Walton's" pilot.)
Offered by: Ds on October 23, 2006 9:01 AMDon't you hate people who say insipid things like "better late than never"?
Yah. me too.
So.. how did I miss this? JodiMom's birthday! And she's 70! a milestone - to be sure! (not to mention the fact that Jodi has opened comments ~~~ !!!)
I hope that your day was full of love and good things. May the coming year(s) bring you much joy. (and though it's been said before - thank you for sharing your daughter with us. she's a peach among summer-time fruit!)
Offered by: deb on October 22, 2006 12:53 AMHappy late birthday! I wish you health and happiness for another year! Congratulations on a funny and intelligent daughter also.
Offered by: Sherri on October 21, 2006 9:55 PMRight, a tad late but still worth saying: Happy birthday, don't think you're adding years to your life, think you're adding life to your years!
Offered by: Leni on October 21, 2006 6:17 AMHappy B-Day, Jodi's mom!! Remember, Jodi is the gift that keeps on giving!
Signed,
Another Mother's Daughter
Offered by: Vendela on October 20, 2006 11:28 PMHappy Birthday! My mom's 76 and we're taking Salsa and swing lessons together! You've got at least another 6 great years! ;)
All the very best,
Tess
Offered by: Cranky Chick on October 20, 2006 10:32 PMPay no mind to Mrs. Z, everyone. She's only known me for 16 years, so she has NO idea what she's talking about. (Oy. Some people!!)
Offered by: Jodi on October 20, 2006 7:41 PMAfter reading all the highly questionable things the Jodi-Lovers have written, I am certain you are ready for just a nice simple birthday wish.
Happy Birthday, Jodi's Mom!!
PS 70 is the new 40!! So you and Jodi can hang now!
Offered by: Mrs. Z on October 20, 2006 7:23 PMHappy Birthday, Jodimom!
When hiring strippers, get a photo first. I mean "Jerri" could be a woman's name. Not that I had a bad time, but still...
Offered by: tim on October 20, 2006 6:10 PMHappy Birthday Mama!!
As I get closer to the day when my own little gaye-baby will be born, I can only hope that I have a child just as gaye, if not gaye-er than your little Jodi.
I hope you have a very special day. :-)
Offered by: Meg on October 20, 2006 4:09 PMYay! You guys are making me LOL like the big idiot I am. Thank you! :o)
Offered by: Jodi on October 20, 2006 2:38 PMJODI, please pass on my wishes of a very happy birthday to your Mother. She must be a wonderful lady, after all, she shared you with us.
And what a nice grouping of people - LUVER & DEAL, and how nice to see Ds. Long time, no see, dude. And, of course, our delicious JODI, Queen of the Jodiverse.
Offered by: Richie on October 20, 2006 2:30 PMHappy Birthday to Jodi's Mom!!
Sing a song of Birthdays
Full of fun and cheer
And may you keep on having them
For many a happy year.
I wish I was as witty as Jodi (and Ds), but I am not. So I will just say -
Happy Birthday and Best Wishes to you!!
AceLuver (aka Kim in Cincinnati, OH)
I've never been good at Birthday Sentiments. I am simply far too caustically sarcastic to have ever written prose for Hallmark. My wit is too acerbic to have composed little ditties for ShoeBox Greetings. I am not even fit to scrawl profanity-strewn limericks on the filth-covered walls seperating the stalls of public restrooms in crowded subway concourses.
That being said, I've come to know and value Jodi as a friend over the past couple of years. I cherish her unique outlook. I appreciate her opinion on things both meaningful and meaningless. I've come to discover that there really are people who can be funny, articulate, intelligent, opinionated, compassionate, caring and loyal simply by knowing Jodi and the people with whom she she chooses to surround herself. (I know this group includes me and this looks like self-pandering blatherskite, but believe me, it really IS self-pandering blatherskite.)
I also know that as Sir Isaac Newton was fond of saying, "The apple don't fall far from the tree."
So on this, the anniversary of your blessing of this world with your presence, I'd like to say thank you. Because although we've never met, I know you were a strong influence in making Jodi the person we've all come to know, love, and occasionally want to molest. (The latter being thrown in specifically at Jodi's behest for soft-core porn in a non-offensive manner.)
If you're half the woman Jodi is, you're twice the man I can ever hope to be.
A Freilekhn Gebortstog!
Ds
*Jodi, you can cringe at 70 years "YOUNG"
...young..old..just words.
It's your state of mind that matters.
Happy Birthday Jodi's Mom on being 70 years YOUNG!
I believe that the greatest thing that anyone can accomplish in their lifetime is to raise caring, kind, compassionate..and let us not forget witty, bright and FUN people!
Jodi is a gift to the universe.
And remember..
Don't count the years..
but rather,
Make the years count!
All good things to you on your very special day! And lastly, please be sure to eat cake.
Cause damn..when I'm 70, I want to eat cake and not even think twice about it.
xoxoxoxo
DealMeAnAce aka: Stephanie in Boston!
