Hark! I am leaving very soon for Christmas festivities in Arkansas! Please feel free not to vandalize my property in my absence. (In case you want to do so despite this request, my address is &4K West bjfau9ap4a8r9-384&@p Street, Apartment {p$#2. You can't miss it.)
I will be with people who have no experience with The Jewish. Woody Allen in "Annie Hall", much?
And now I must put clothes and other items into a suitcase. I hear this is called "packing".
Have a very happy merry whatever, kids. Don't do anything I wouldn't do — whatever that means. (That saying always confuses me.) Or maybe do everything I would do. Or don't do something you think I would do.
See you soon.
Latke love,
P.S. Please vote in the poll, if you haven't already done so!
P.P.S. Please enjoy my very special Christmas message to all of you.
fresh-baked at 10:11 AMEnjoy the sight-seeing in Arkansas! Most front lawns are a sight to see! Grab an appliance or two!
Offered by: Cranky Chick on December 28, 2006 1:32 AMWishing you rigid, slippery, phallii fulls of fun this holiday, Ms. Jodi.
Offered by: Thomas on December 26, 2006 3:20 PMGreat Horny Toads! The Wandering Jewishness wandering all the way down to Arkansas? (Insert obligatory 'Jodi, we're not in Arkansas anymore.' line here.)
How in God's Green Earth did you EVER end up in Arkansas? Don't you know their state animal is a razorback? No, not the pig, the men who have to shave their backs daily just to put their flannel white hood and robes on. (No one respects a hairy racist, evidently.)
And the last thing they had Jewish down there was Sammy Davis Jr. in the spring of '69. And they tried to lynch him in a two-for-one special!!
So hang onto your bagels and puccini loafers (mandatory for travelling the south in style) and tell us all about the boytoy who lured you to the swamp. Because we all know any self-respecting Jew from Manhattan wouldn't be caught dead in the bayou during the holidays, especially not espousing the virtues of a 'Merry Christmas'. (Even though I hope you had one. But don't eat the pickled pigs feet. Definately not kosher.)
Can't wait to be assailed with your tales of woe and remembrance...
Offered by: Ds on December 26, 2006 1:48 PMThanks for printing your address. Mrs. Z. and the boys have moved comfortably into your apartment since there is no way in hell that you will return from Arkansas the same woman. You will be so busy banging your head with your menorah you won't even notice us. You poor fool. How ever was such a clever woman lured to Arkansas?
Offered by: Mrs. Z on December 25, 2006 10:02 PMMerry Christmas, and just so you know, the guys in the white hooded robes are not angels in the town Christmas play.
Offered by: tim on December 25, 2006 11:46 AMmy sweet, they haven't tofu in the bible belt. really. they think it's some kind of clay or something. say "hi" to billy-bob-joe-jimbob and his sister/wife for me, will ya ;-)
Offered by: thomas on December 25, 2006 9:09 AMarkansas.
how very 'bill clinton' of you.
i totally have the hots for bill clinton.
are you dating bill clinton?
Offered by: sass on December 24, 2006 2:24 PMOy vey, Jodi! What'll you do if they serve you a hamhock???
Offered by: Vendela on December 23, 2006 6:07 PMArkansas? I never would have guessed.
Have a great holiday yourself Jodi.
Offered by: mike on December 23, 2006 5:16 PM
