Hello hello hello. Yes, this thing is on, and yes I am alive and well and still kickin'. Rumors of my death, blahblah hilarious reference to Mark Twain and so on. I appreciate your many and varied e-missives asking if I am okay!

Please just bear with me for a bit longer. And no, no side-splitting fun-making with that, either, kids. No "Oh, Jodi, I'll bare with you, LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!11" As tempting as it is for you to say that, and as much as I adore a humorous homonym, I ask you to mercifully refrain. If you do not, you run the risk of having me kick you in the ass — and, really, who among you has an asterisk?

Oh, wink! ;-)