It is not often that I admit publicly that I am, after all, human. That I, like many of you, have shortcomings and perhaps even a foible or two. The difference between my foibles and most of those possessed by other people is that my foibles are cute, often cuddly, and always scented like a delightful cucumber-melon body wash.
Still, even as I am equipped with the knowledge that I am susceptible to shortcomings, I was somewhat surprised this afternoon when, while out and about, I accepted the cheerful offer for a free sample of what I think was called a raspberry frappuccino from a Starbucks representative outside the 62nd and Broadway store. Her tray was home to about a dozen and a half little Solo cups (yes, I checked the bottom of the cup later, because I am a snob about these things) with miniature versions of the Starbucks signature green straws poking out of them. She sunnily asked if I wanted one, and I, doing quick calculations in my head, decided that, yes, I could accept this offer. This offer I could accept. Accept I offer could this!
"Carol Ann," I told myself, "you're taking one!"
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Uhm, your name isn't Carol Ann. And aren't you, like, a vegan or something?"
Well, yes. On both counts. But sometimes I like to live on the edge, kids. I like to grab the bull by the horns, pull his broad head toward my lipglossed (MAC Viva Glam VI) kisser, and plant one on his snout. And that's what I did today. Threw caution to the wind, grabbed horns and kissed snout, and, just before I started flying by the seat of my pants, told myself it was okay that the concoction was topped with something whipped and creamy and thus not anywhere near vegan. I mean, really, how could I resist the allure and lure of something so cute and jaunty? Answer: I could not. And did not.
What makes this entire episode even more earth-shattering is that I have been known, on more than 65 occasions, to rail against fattening coffee drinks, and on at least twice as many occasions, against Starbucks itself. I will not go into all the reasons for the latter railing, because they are probably the "usual" complaints that you have no doubt read on many bloggy anti-Starbucks manifestos. But since I did not have to set foot inside the actual establishment, and it was (and is) such a nice day and my hair came out particularly good today, I decided to avail myself of the offer.
And let me tell you, kids, it was so damned good. But as good as it was, it did not put my own home-brewed iced coffee concoction to shame. So although I succumbed today, my lapse was a one-time only event, and, never fear, I am back on the vegan wagon.
fresh-baked at 12:51 PMWhy all of a sudden to I feel like a tiny locomotive trying to get up a steep hill?
"I think I can. I think I can."
Crap, Kate. Now you've gone and made me do it. Or go it. Or whatever the heck it is you've forced me to do.
Offered by: Ds on July 5, 2007 2:56 PMNo sis of mine is veggie eating decaf drinking! NO!
Offered by: Bobbi Ann on July 5, 2007 1:50 PMGOD! "DO IT!" "YOU CAN DO IT, DS!"
What in the fuck is "Go it?"
Offered by: Kate on July 4, 2007 7:56 AMRESTRAINT, Ds... RESTRAINT - YOU CAN GO IT!!!
Hmmmm. Restraints... Oh....
Offered by: Kate on July 4, 2007 12:43 AMThe next time you want to sample a meat based product, I have a length of man sausage I'd like to feed you... in an entirely scientific manner of course, sterile and clinical; mesuring gag reflex, arousal and ability to take such humilitaion in stride what with the other scientists watching, taking notes and awaiting to experiement themselves.
Perhaps even with each other...
That is a different missive entirely.
Offered by: Thomas on July 3, 2007 2:07 PMLooks at Jodi's and tokens bars and making things hard comments and repeatedly mutters under his breath....
"I will not hijack this thread... I will not hijack this thread... I will not hijack this thread..."
Offered by: Ds on July 3, 2007 12:55 PMI KNEW when it came right down to it, you would blame your hair for your lapse in vegan-judgement. Those protien-laden follicles who so often have a mind of their own have once again led you down a path of corrpution, and it would appear your tastebuds are participating in the coup. Before you know it, you'll be eating fatty McDonalds French Fries deepfried in animal lard and dunken not quite so seductively 4 at a time into tiny paper cups filled with former vegetables that gave their lives only to be whipped, pureed, sugarfied and squeezed out of a bottle marked HEINZ so that they could be mere accessories to your carnivorous fascinations. How long before you're trying the mystery meat down at the Old Country Buffet? Or worse, sinking your teeth into an actual marbled and rare piece of beef, lamp, poultry or fish? (I left out pork assuming even renegade, mutineering mouthparts could not sway you from your religion...)
Now THAT would be a bad hair day!!!
Offered by: Ds on July 3, 2007 12:52 PMTerry: The bulls insist on it.
Jay: Okay, all right. If you insist. (And you do.) But I won't enjoy it. Absolutely not.
Token fella: Ahhh, c'mon. You love when I mix and/or misapply my metaphors. And you love it even more when I do both at the same time. Plus, I was waiting for you to notice that, by raising the bar, I was facilitating your limbo. You know I don't like making things hard for you.
Offered by: Jodi on July 3, 2007 10:49 AMUm, I think the metaphors may not be so much mixed as just mis-applied. If you raise the bar quite high, doesn't it become quite easy for me to limbo under? Perhaps I should be trying to do the Fosbury Flop over it.
Offered by: Token fella on July 3, 2007 10:37 AMAnd then you fucked Jeremy Piven in the ass. Shouldn't every episode in your life end this way?
Offered by: Jay on July 3, 2007 10:26 AMM.A.C. Viva Glam. Why am I not surprised?
Offered by: terry on July 3, 2007 9:49 AMJeffrey: There's probably about as much coffee in one of those things as there is meat (urrrmph) in a fast food hamburger. But no, this does not mean that the next time I fall off the vegan wagon, I'll be climbing aboard the chuckwagon.
Karma: Hello! Hey! Email me at the address you'll find when you click on "Email is cute." in my sidebar, and we'll gab like girls privately.
Offered by: Jodi on July 2, 2007 5:12 PMHey girl. I found your site through Rian's. You have such a wonderful style of writing, do you write professionally??
Also, I was wondering if you can suggest any vegan cookbooks. I've been vegetarian for 13 years and have attempted going vegan a few times (with no success). Cheese tends to be my downfall although I've tried some vegan cheeses and I must say they aren't half bad. I'd love any input from you.
As for the Starbucks, sounds yummy. I tend to do the boring iced coffee with soy milk myself.
Anyway..sorry for the ramble. I'll see you soon on Rian's website, I'm sure...
Offered by: Karma on July 2, 2007 4:02 PMThere isn't even any coffee in a Crappuccino, is there? No wonder you're hanging your cuddly, cucumber-melon scented head in shame.
Offered by: Jeffrey on July 2, 2007 3:02 PMYou, of all people, dearest Token fella, know just how high the bar is set. And oh, I must say, it's always fun to watch you try to limbo underneath it.
Offered by: Caro A ... -- errrm, Jodi on July 2, 2007 2:31 PMStarbucks is the bane of many-a-vegan (well, this one anyway).
Can we also call you Carol-Ann? I'm not sure when an appropriate moment to do so would be, but I can think of a few when it would not be a good idea.
And you checked the cup? Really? The CUP? The bar is set pretty damned high with you.
Offered by: Token fella on July 2, 2007 1:13 PM
