Someone stole my gym shoes from just outside my apartment door. Yesterday morning when I got back from the gym, they were wet from the downpour, so I took them off before entering my apartment and neatly placed them on the rag rug (my own, not shared with anyone else), side by side with the toes pointing in to indicate that, yes, they belonged here in this apartment. But now? Nowhere to be found. And no, I am quite certain they did not run off by themselves.
Who would DO such a thing? I mean, I know this is New York City 'n' all, but I live in an old five-story townhouse that houses only six or seven apartments, two of which are occupied by the landlord and his adult daughter and her husband and toddler, and the few other tenants I have seen all look about as mild-mannered as small pink cartons of skim milk. I can only guess that the fucker who did it has never seen me in another representative of my shoe collection because the heels on most of its members (see Exhibit A) can and will do more damage to his or her nasty thieving face than pounding out a marathon on it ever could. And if the cretin thinks that, if I learn his or her identity, I won't be able to chase their ass down Broadway in those heels to administer the damage, they've got another thing coming.
http://index1.scukam.com >exploitation films
Offered by: Alexjzg on January 26, 2008 4:41 PMWe have them. We'll ransom them for the heels.;)
Offered by: Carey on August 4, 2007 7:57 PMlatte -
twice is nice, but thrice is just repetitively redundant overkill.
Stop the insanity - keep Parkinson's sufferers away from the return key. Remember, only YOU can prevent double posts...
Offered by: Ds on July 30, 2007 10:28 PMDs: say again?
Offered by: lattegirl on July 29, 2007 10:19 PMI just got back from MoMA (Museum of Modern Art you uncouth bastards) and they have some really interesting new exhibits.
The singular highlight for me was an piece called, "Trodden," in which the entire room was barren save for two burly security guards flanking a well-lit podium. Perched atop the phallic marble was a plexiglass case. Inside, perched atop a luxurious deep lavender pillow were two rather world-weary sneakers, laces cast akimbo.
Fascinated, I looked at the small black placard placed at the base of the case. It read, "Trodden
Date: 21st Century
Genre: Bohemian
Artist: Anonymous"
I was moved to tears, lucky to have been witness to such a deep display into an artist's sole...
Offered by: Ds on July 29, 2007 10:54 AMI just got back from MoMA (Museum of Modern Art you uncouth bastards) and they have some really interesting new exhibits.
The singular highlight for me was an piece called, "Trodden," in which the entire room was barren save for two burly security guards flanking a well-lit podium. Perched atop the phallic marble was a plexiglass case. Inside, perched atop a luxurious deep lavender pillow were two rather world-weary sneakers, laces cast akimbo.
Fascinated, I looked at the small black placard placed at the base of the case. It read, "Trodden
Date: 21st Century
Genre: Bohemian
Artist: Anonymous"
I was moved to tears, lucky to have been witness to such a deep display into an artist's sole...
Offered by: Ds on July 29, 2007 10:51 AMCompletely OT: I'm shilling for two friends in this year's Blogathon.
You (or your readers) can support them with comments, IMs, or financial support.
Hope you don't mind, Jodi. These are two really good blog buddies and they've been at it since 9 a.m. this morning, posting every half-hour.
Everyone go give them a little boost any way you can!
Thanks.... Terry :)
Kat: blogging for MS: http://www.mysinglemomlife.com/blog/index.php
Leigh: blogging for The R.O.S.E. Fund
http://prismofwhispers.com/mtblog/
Someone just needed to walk a mile in your shoes, for god's sake. Then, unfortunately, when they took off the shoes at the gym (so as not too sweat in them in an untoward manner) someone stole them THERE.
Ironic, isn't it.
And that, boys and girls, is why Goldilocks was a BITCH.
Offered by: Kate on July 27, 2007 3:57 AMHey! Sorry about your sneakers, people SUCK!!!! I had my favorite coat stolen at a party years ago. I was one of 3 girls there ( it was a gay male party, and the other 2 girls were BIG girls ) It had to have been a petite drag queen that stole it. Not that this info is going to make you feel better, but it might make you laugh. Anyway, now you know my real name, Maren, and you have my direct e-mail if you want to say hi. I hope you get either your shoes or the jackass who did it. Take care!
Offered by: Maxx05 on July 25, 2007 6:05 PMWhen I lived in California, I once saw a drag queen take off his/her stiletto shoe and beat another drag queen with it. The heel punctured skin several times and got stuck once, and for a brief second the shoe dangled from the breast of drag queen number two.
The thief better hope you never find him/her.
Offered by: Scott on July 25, 2007 11:47 AMI hope you left a nasty, smelly, itchy foot fungus in those shoes (not that your feet emit anything less odorous than fragrant flowers.) Seriously, though, I hope your shoes give them a raging case of Foot Herpes!
Offered by: Vendela on July 25, 2007 12:38 AMIs that a new Almodovar movie "Wet Shoes"?
Offered by: sally on July 24, 2007 10:34 PMThey are evil and must be destroyed. The thief, that is. Not your shoes.
Sic Kelly on them. She'll get your shoes back.
Offered by: Jeffrey on July 24, 2007 2:13 PMHmmm, speculating on the motivation:
- Stolen by a woman with the same size foot, who was really taken with your taste in workout footwear?
- Some guy with a fetish for well worn women's shoes? (Keep an eye out for a guy with his nose in a shoe and a smile on his face.)
- Your landlord is a neat freak who removed the shoes and consigned them to the nearest garbage bin?
- A heroin junky pawned them for smack?
By the way, did you process the crime scene for evidence?
I cried because Jodi had no shoes until I saw her victim who had neatly lopped off feet...
Then I laughed @ them.
Yes.. @, not with...
Then I begged Jodi (unsuccessfully) for oral release.
Awww, well, let’s assume that someone needed then more than you. And that they will get a long life, since he/she will likely wear them until the rubber is gone, and all that is left is a stylish upper!
"peep outta Choo" HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Offered by: Token fella on July 24, 2007 9:33 AMPete, you must be doing this in the stiletto of the night, because I don't hear a peep outta Choo!
Offered by: Jodi on July 24, 2007 7:39 AMI took them. I have a bit of a... thing... for wet shoes. Specifically yours. I've been stealing your wet shoes for years, actually. I'm surprised that you never noticed.
Offered by: Pete on July 24, 2007 6:40 AM
