I'm prettier than you are.
Wednesday, 28 November 2007
Trash Day

It can’t be good news when an obviously new commode is piled atop a curbside heap of trash awaiting collection. I waver between deeming its user unfortunate to require it and fortunate not to be connected to invasive devices that obviate the need for any sort of toilet. Either way, indignity slaps my face, and I catch my breath at the sight of the seemingly casual discard of such intimate, telling apparatus. "I’m so sorry," I whisper to the unknown deceased, whose body I envision being removed from the apartment building in a bag not unlike that containing the trash.

fresh-baked at 03:13 PM
Comments

I guess you don't want nasty comments on your blog, Jodi. Fair enough. But I'm right! I am right!

Offered by: Brad on December 4, 2007 3:29 PM

Speaking of toilets...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_XFw-TrHNw&eurl=http://www.neatorama.com/index.php?s=toilet&Submit=Go

Offered by: jamied on December 4, 2007 9:23 AM

I think they have pre-formatted connectors for potty-mouth available at most junior high schools. It seems just about every tween has been porcelainized.

Offered by: Ds on December 3, 2007 10:03 AM

Don,

No wrench. Nails only. He's dead. It doesn't matter.

Offered by: MikeE on December 2, 2007 9:30 PM

Would one have to use a special kind of wrench to connect a new toilet to a dead person?

The fittings might be kind of tricky.

Offered by: don on December 2, 2007 2:40 PM

I'm trying to connect a new toilet to a dead person. I can do it, but it requires my following a maddening train of thought. It's much like connecting Disney with Stalinist Russia which I can do quite easily, but it may cause head pain for those who don't immediately see the link.

Thanks for the pain.

Offered by: MikeE on December 2, 2007 6:08 AM

What a shitty way to go.

Offered by: Jeffrey on November 30, 2007 9:09 PM

How many times had she told him to put the seat back down? How many?

Now it's an obvious case of 'Death by crapper,' where he's the recipient of a killer rimjob and she's carted off to the women's maximum security correctional facility where she'll never have to worry about the seat being left up again, there being no seats to levitate.

Oh the inhumanity of it all.

Offered by: Ds on November 29, 2007 6:24 PM