On Saturday morning, while at Whole Foods, I came upon this brilliant display:
Swiss Chard
I quickly fumbled for my camera, not wanting to lose the shot lest my subject either cover itself up in a moment of modesty or run for cover for a reason I would never know. Greens can be very fickle.
I suppose my enthusiastic coaching and coaxing, including the typical "Beautiful, baby, beautiful" and a more personal "That's it, Swiss Miss, show me your stalks" wasn't as inconspicuous as I thought, because within seconds of taking the photos, a man whose job it is to arrange, water, and preen the greens said, "Miss! Miss! No photos, Miss!"
"Excuse me?" I said.
"No! No photos!" He shook his head and waved his hand at me to complete the three-part chide. Just in case I did not know what "no" meant. (N.B. Scientific studies have shown that 52% of the time I do not.) (Note to plaintiff's counsel: You cannot use this information in your case against me.)
"Are you serious?" I said.
He was.
"Oh my GOD, " I said. "Why?"
He did not answer.
"I know you don't make the rules here," I said with a laugh that I considered both conciliatory and gracious, "but that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Of course this was hyperbole. I have indeed heard things that are just as, if not even more, ridiculous, including someone saying they think Carrot Top is "kinda hot" and "No, Jodi, I do not find 'the little boy with his finger in the dyke' hilarious."
Of course, I wanted to shout, in a fit of lack of originality, "You know what? This place should be known as Ass(w)hole Foods! Bleeeeeeeee!" and bolt from the store, but instead I vowed to get back at Whole Foods and show them a thing or two by showing the world at large not just one but two forbidden photos. That's just the kind of maverick I am. Look:
Swiss Chard (Reprise)
About 45 minutes later, I was safely above ground with three bags of newly purchased food and two purloined photos inside my camera, giddy with power. "I will not be silenced!" I whispered through gritted teeth. "The world must know!"
Any reservations I may have had were quickly dispelled once I encountered this four-year-old Bulldog named Dixie, whom I had the extreme pleasure of meeting less than a minute after surfacing:
It is illegal in this state for a dogface to be this adorable, but Dixie had no problem flouting the law. And now, thanks to her encouragement, neither do I.
fresh-baked at 10:37 PMLOL! I just took a photo at my local Whole Foods Market too!
They don't want you taking photos because they think you are from a competitor and think you are taking away some of their trade secrets! lol
WFM has the best presentation of most in North America, but I think the rest of the world has North America beat.
If you're going to take photos in any chain retailer, do it quickly and covertly! ;^p
Here's my blog post on it:
http://garrychoo.com/blog/2008/01/28/market/
cheers
g
You will march back into that Whole Foods dressed as Norma Rae and proudly hold high your cardboard sign that says, "UNION."
Offered by: Jay on January 30, 2008 11:00 AMOf course if you were Erica Kane, you would be able to take pictures!!
Offered by: Lee on January 30, 2008 6:43 AMDixie is a charming little sex kitten? Damn, they got butt-ugly cats south of the Mason Dixon...
And I have nothing to say about the bared vegetation, flambouyantly flaunted with so little regard to the artist's intent. For a display such as that required the hand of a Master Designer, and to steal his/her work without a mere mention of the name, well, for shame on you, dearest Jodi. For shame indeed.
And to the auteur of vegetablia - Arugula! Arugala! You are an artiste without compare!
Offered by: Ds on January 28, 2008 3:30 PM"Of course, I wanted to shout, in a fit of lack of originality, 'You know what? This place should be known as Ass(w)hole Foods! Bleeeeeeeee!'"
And now, thanks to the wonder of the Internet, it shall no longer be known as Whole Paycheck, but rather as it must be: Ass(w)hole Foods. Feel that power you have, my dear? Oh yeah, I bet you do.
The chard, being Swiss, I'm sure remained neutral on the subject.
Offered by: Jeffrey on January 28, 2008 3:08 PMMy sister's Boston Terrier is also named Dixie but sis changed the spelling to "Dixi" so she'd be more PC.
That Swiss chard looks delectable, but I'm not sure it would taste very good. Is it like rhubarb, or what?
Your prohibited photos were worth stealing.
Fight the power Jodi!
There was a rumor a few years ago about someone taking a pic of their friends at a Starbucks and being chased out by the manager. Really, if businesses are so afraid that someone will steal a decor or public display idea, they shouldn't let the public see it! A corporate spy will get the pic without taking it out in the open. To chastise customers - that's just bad business.
Now, instead of seeing the pics and thinking "I need to go to Whole Foods" like I would have, the clerk's abhorrent behavior makes me never want to go there.
Offered by: Drunkbunny on January 28, 2008 9:33 AMWell, if some future horrible terrorist activity involves Swiss Chard, you're screwed.
Offered by: Mrs. Z on January 28, 2008 9:08 AMOMG!!! What character in her widdle face! I'm in love with the second shot of her. She looks as if she knows something...like she has knowledge. Just look at her! She's posing just for YOU, Jodi!
BTW, isn't it funny that her name is Dixie and she's from New York? Maybe she's origionally from the Land of Cotton and her Southern Bell charm is what is oozing from her. She's a charming little sex kitten, that one. Away, away, away down South in Dixie!
Offered by: jamied on January 28, 2008 9:04 AM
