I'm an orange-yellow subway seat. You don't give me credit for doing what I have to do all day. You don't consider what I go through. Ever. You don't know the trauma I endure, having to witness so many bulging buttocks doing their buttocky thing. How many gassy asses press themselves onto my surface without regard for my feelings. You know nothing of how I exist. You think I don't mind the way I spend my life. Sometimes I actually manage to get a soda spilled onto myself, just so I don't have to face another uncaring ass like yours.
fresh-baked at 10:29 PMI like the orange yellow seats better than the pale blue ones of the 6 line...
Offered by: Angie on February 16, 2008 12:26 PMI don't feel sorry for you a bit, plastic subway seat! You're union, and I know you make more money than me, even though you only have a GED and I have a Masters Degree. How much to you pay for your health insurance, plastic boy? Nothing? I have to pay hundreds a month! And you get free pop spilled on you? I have to pay 65 cents a can from the vending machine at work! Stop whining! *starts to stomp off*
(Pssst... text me when there's a job opening where you work. Go union!)
Offered by: Drunkbunny on February 16, 2008 11:47 AMI don't like public transportation either. The one time I rode a bus was when I was 18, on the way to a Jimi Hendrix concert downtown. A vomit covered old drunk patted my thigh as he departed.
Public transportation is awful, unless it's in Tokyo, where they put starchy white doilies on the headrests and the seats are padded velveteen. Nobody's allowed to make a mess, talk or play music. No gum chewing or smoking allowed, either.
It's time for oppressed seats to rise up everywhere! Oh, wait. That's rather difficult for them to do, isn't it....
Offered by: Jeffrey on February 15, 2008 12:26 PMMs. Train Seat? This is your therapist calling. Tampons and Toilet Paper called and will be unable to make the group session, so it would be you and Bowling Shoes only tonight. We can reschedule for Saturday afternoon and maybe get Gym Towel to be our guest speaker. Let me know how you feel*. Thanks.
(*Of course, the seat feels hard and rigid after all the cracks it's received.)
Offered by: Thomas on February 15, 2008 9:19 AMwe don't have trains here. we have busses, but really those are just trains with a glorified sense of independence. I've never been on one. Public transportation scares me. Not the people on it, although they are an ecclectic mix of paroled cons and rejects from a Jerry Springer casting call.
No, I don't like public transportation because I can never find a tie that goes well with the ever present billboard of the leering whiplash attorney on and/or inside the bus.
You see, I'm very image conscious...
Offered by: Ds on February 14, 2008 11:33 PM
