What kind of fresh Gidget hell is this, this summer day in 1983? I'm ridiculously tan, sporting a hot pink sweatshort and sweatshirt set, totally "buzzed" after guzzling who the hell knows how many "pony" bottles of beer in my friend Lori's car. I'm wrapping my thighs around the neck of some blond kid who’s calling himself "Tad", who's wrapping his around the neck of his friend who's calling himself "Biff", and now Biff is standing, supporting me and Tad on his shoulders, and I'm cheering like mad for The Beach Boys at Six Flags? Who the hell am I?