Can someone help me out?
You know this company called FedEx? The one that, in a modern spin on the ol' rain/snow/sleet/hail mantra of the United States Postal Service, tells us they'll get us our packages on time, no matter what? The one that prides itself on being the end-all and be-all of expedient shipping?
Well, they can kiss my FuckingAss.
A package that was to have reached me no later than 4:30 yesterday afternoon is still not here, despite five calls to find out where the FedFux it is. Despite pleas in which, in as close a proximation of calmness as I can muster under the circumstances, I basically tell the customer service representatives that life as we know it will end if I do not get this package, as it contains a freshly harvested still-beating luscious red heart that must be transplanted into the already-ratcheted-open near-dead body of the only person on the planet who knows a surefire cure for cancer and also how LOST is going to pan out, the package is still not here in my hot(t) little hands.
So, tell me. Because my package was being delivered with the two-day service, does the promise of the slogan therefore not apply? Does "when it absolutely has to be there overnight" not translate into a similar promise for two-day deliveries? Or are they the lowest man on the totem pole, the Cindy Brady of the bunch?
Any insight, input, or buckshot with which to riddle the body of the driver when he finally arrives here would be greatly appreciated.
fresh-baked at 03:10 PMThose FedEx clowns always have some kind of loophole.
You should be allowed to board their truck and select one package for every extra hour you had to wait.
And send me the Canuck Vicodin. My foot hurts.
Do you suppose if I got that guy a heart he'd let me in on how LOST ends?
Hey, I work in a hospital. It could happen.
Offered by: Ds on March 13, 2008 10:33 PM...and juuuust in case you DIDN'T know where I was going with it, I was thinking serenity would come back to you if you make him dress up as Dita Von Teese. That always seems to make me feel better anyway.
Offered by: jamied on March 13, 2008 8:28 PMPush for free delivery and a credit on a future delivery.
I prefer UPS, myself.
Offered by: lattegirl on March 13, 2008 5:04 PM...silly me, I forgot the most OBVIOUS solution to your stress...the FIRST and FOREMOST thing to do to make yourself feel better...you know where I'm going with this. (wink)
The delivery man probably has all kinds of goodies and supplies in those magical boxes in his truck.
Offered by: jamied on March 13, 2008 4:20 PMI think the only logical thing to do would be to hijack his truck and stop all of the other deliveries to innocent people who desperately NEED their Vicodin from Canada...then have a ball on their meds.
Offered by: jamied on March 13, 2008 3:55 PM
