This sign, posted on the outside of the men's room at Veggie Heaven in Teaneck, New Jersey, is marvelous enough on its own. But you have to wonder — or at least you do if you are I (yes, that's proper grammar — stilted, sporting a natty silk ascot and strolling down the avenue with a carved ivory walking stick, but, yes, proper, and thus I must use it because someone has to be the queen of propriety, and I accept the duty even before it has been officially presented to me) — what precipitated its creation. How many times and with what variety of vigor did someone have to jiggle, rattle, and otherwise molest the door handle so that this carefully worded sign was warranted?
I was reminded, of course, of my own experience in a ladies room a few years ago, and I invite you to remember it too.
Also remember: You love coming here because you know I rattle your brain. I challenge you to consider mind-bending cerebellum-wringers so deep and controversial that they have no chance of ever being up for distaff discussion on the "Hot Topics" segment of "The View".
fresh-baked at 10:39 PMI recently experienced the second bathroom bolt-overthrow of my life, when someone in the Philly Reading Terminal's restroom thought fighting the door and essentially "busting" it down was the way to proceed. I greeted my visitor with What the ----? or some variation thereof.
Let's see: Bathroom, door that appears to be locked. Hmm? Why is it so hard to believe that the one door that will often be locked, that exists to be locked in the face of such fools, is locked?
These people are idiots and should not be allowed out of their houses (assuming they live in houses and not trees).
Offered by: Jenn on May 5, 2008 3:29 PMYes, I jiggled the handle, but I had no idea that was some kind of vegan homosexual sex thing.
I just needed, you know, to let the little senator take a recess. Next thing I know, I'm labeled a gay pervert trolling birkenstocks. And I'm a Republican, damn it!
If my wife finds out, she'll start a career in politics, carpetbag to New Jersey,become a Senator and eventually run for President! She might even lose to a, gasp, black man!
I swear, I just wanted to take a leak. Oh crap, here comes CNN. I have to run.
Offered by: Senator Larry Craig on April 27, 2008 11:47 PM
