Everyone has a grand time watching Billy Boman flop his flubby way down Laskey Boulevard with the rest of the marathoners in smalltown Picton. They've never seen a fatso running down the street barefoot, only in pajama bottoms, his cheeks puffing in a way that's kinda gross but, in a weird way, kinda cute.
He can't keep up with the skinny runners, of course, so why's he keep looking over his shoulder like that? And what's with the tears running down his fat red face? You'd think he'd be happy to see his dad catching up to him so fast!
fresh-baked at 09:54 PMMeanwhile, at home, his equally chubby mutt Stanley is licking the last of the peanut butter off the end of his snout. He never understood why the Master's son fed him so strangely, but then again he didn't care. That's some damn tasty peanut butter. Usually he gets to finish it all off though, but then Master doesn't usually doesn't get fired from work and come home early.
Stanley wonders if the Master's son will still want to play "Putting on the Pretty Pink Doggy Lipstick" when he gets back. The boy seemed in a hurry...
Offered by: Thomas on May 2, 2008 10:21 AM
This is an outrage! After two decades of sweating to the oldies, I can't believe we're still using terms like 'flubby' and 'fatso'. Those negative terminologies have no place in today's lexicon, people, and I for one am offended, nay, incensed that you would stoop to such vulgar behavior. These highly-impressionable, weight-afflicted individuals are not at fault for the way they appear, and with a little love and joy can be beautiful, productive members of society. Down with hateful remarks! Down with narrow minds in skinny little bodies! Accept us as we are! We are large and we are in charge!
Now come here, Billy, and let me console you with a great big squoogelly-woogelly hug and some powdered donuts. I think you're a beautiful, senual, sexual young man. That's right, come sit next to Uncle Richard...
Offered by: Richard Simmons on May 2, 2008 9:10 AM
