I'm prettier than you are.
Thursday, 22 May 2008
A ream, deferred

Something happened this morning that caused my always vigilant liver to produce enough delicious bile to last several hours. And although I would like nothing more than a Levain Bakery chocolate chip walnut cookie the size of a baby's head and just as gooey, and to share the details of this morning's event, neither is going to happen right now. In the first instance, I am "saving up" for this Sunday, to indulge in wedding cake that I am told will make me eat my words, so I don't want to ruin it with a cookie appetizer several days in advance. And in the second, I just don't feel like spewing right now. Rest assured, however, that tomorrow, when I consider the event again and dwell on it sufficiently to cause a fresh batch of bile, I will fill you in. For now, though? No.

Instead, because I believe in maintaining balance in my oft tortured psyche, I will share a few items that never fail to make me extremely happy, no matter what:

  • Babies in sunglasses
  • Dogs with ponytails
  • Dogs carrying their own leashes
  • Dogs stealing sunglasses from babies
  • This:

benicetotrees1.jpg benicetotrees2.jpg

When I saw this last month, I started getting all Weepy Jew about how lovely people truly are, remembering Anne Frank's quote, "Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart." This reverie lasted for about three minutes, until I passed the construction site and came upon a group of maybe half a dozen loudmouth kids tugging with all their might on the branch of a dogwood tree until they wrenched it apart for no good reason at all. And then I thought, "Yeah, whatever, Anne Frank. Talk all pretty 'n' whatnot, but look what happened to you."

Tomorrow: Biliousness.

fresh-baked at 10:05 PM
Comments

And then you killed them.

Right?

Offered by: Jeffrey on May 23, 2008 6:15 PM

I've often pondered the destructive nature of children of a certain age.
On those times when it caused me distress, I think consuming a gooey cookie the size of my head would have given me great solace.
You could die tomorrow, honey, go eat three of them.

Offered by: KarenZipdrive on May 23, 2008 12:44 PM

That kind of stuff doesn't happen on Sunnybrook Farm, where I live. We just sit around with our sunglassed babies on our laps wondering what karma has in store for those loudmouth nature-destroying New York kids.

Offered by: Mrs. Z on May 23, 2008 9:28 AM

First thought: how did that branch grow through the boards? Duh.

Offered by: lattegirl on May 23, 2008 8:05 AM

You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine,
you make me happy
despite your bile.
You'll never know dear
how much I love you.
You just speak
and you make us
all smile.

Offered by: Ds on May 22, 2008 10:36 PM