When Maura was 12 and her "big teeth" were firmly in place, she orchestrated a playground accident that had her falling on her face onto the blacktop seven feet below the monkey bars where she had stood, peeling a pretend banana.
When the dentist remarked that she was brave to be grinning when she broke eight teeth, Maura said, "I don't care, because you're going to replace them with pearls!"
The dentist laughed and said, "Not real pearls, but just as pretty."
Maura said she didn't mind if they were cultured or natural, just as long as they were pearls.
fresh-baked at 11:28 AMomg...lol!
Offered by: jamied on August 5, 2008 10:33 PMGuys naturally took to Maura and her big, round, faux pearl teeth. It may have had something to do with the playground rumors; that Maura was like Tara Lipschitz, only better. Tara had gotten her tongue pierced the previous summer, and her boyfriend, Barry Stock, said that when she sucked his dick under the bleachers at Christa McAuliff Junior High, it was impossible for him to hold back his load for longer than three minutes. (Years later Barry would lament that he once took such a perverse sort of pride in his lack of sexual stamina. Twenty years of the appropriate nickname Three-minute-Barry will do that to you.)
But Maura, with her eight rounded bicuspids and incisors, didn't need to concern herself with a derth of unsuitable suitors. And she had the 21 pearl necklaces to prove it, each one glistening like the oral orbs that would eventually make her the highest paid escort in Washington, DC.
Offered by: Ds on July 31, 2008 10:34 PM
