I suppose I should apologize for my lack of attendance here on my own little patch of the internet, for leaving you dangling by whatever it is you've been dangling by (pause to cringe, blush, and clutch), hoping with every fiber (Qiana) of your being that I would just come back already, you're sorry for calling me every name in the book (or The Book, because I know that 98.6% of you are Bible-thumping zealots) because I abandoned you for this thing called Real Life and all the little quirks and jerks and twists and turns and haircuts and tofu and whatnot and whozit that goes along with living, yes, la vida coca-cola. I apologize for making you think I was lying in a ditch somewhere, tofu-froth bubbling from my maw, my limbs in a Pilatic jangle, my perfect manicure hideously chipped, my once sinewy and taut form degenerated into a quivering mass of tapioca pudding, my once raven tresses tangled like so much Silly String after a rumble like none the West Side has ever seen.

I'm here, though. I am. I mean, if I wasn't, could I delight you with the first fabulous food foto I've posted since 1926?

Lunch Buffet, Earthen Oven, 72nd and Columbus
Not pictured: Second plate, Naan, Pappadum, Me in a daze for the rest of the afternoon

And one of dogs on Halloween?

Sally, dressed as a mermaid, West 69th Street,
being greeted by a mermaid dressed as a dog
Not pictured: Me suffering a seizure over the impossible cuteness

Stay tuned ...