Today is the Jewish High Holiday of YOM KIPPUR, as you probably know. Today is the day we Jews are supposed to atone. See, we don't have those "confessional" things. So we have to save it all up for this one day. And for some reason we're not supposed to eat. Don't ask me why. I am a very bad Jew.
And it is that very bad Jewness that is causing me to be punished today. I am being punished by my HOSTING COMPANY. It is not allowing me access to my site via my computer. It is now not [typo fixed 9/17] allowing many others to gain access to my site.
I attribute it all to the fact that I ate a small bowl of cereal with raisins (no milk, thank you) this morning, in defiance of the "no food" part of the holiday. So now I must suffer.
And so must many of my most ardent fans.
I apologize ... to those who are unable to access my site, and to whatever force I offended by eating a small bowl of cereal with raisins. In defiance, however, I just ate a banana.
Do you think I'm pushing it?
fresh-baked at 05:14 PMYou better get yourself to temple!
Since I know how much you hate to go outside, you may want to consider this handy schul. It's practically at your fingertips!
Offered by: Mad Genius on September 16, 2002 05:36 PMA holiday on which you aren't supposed to eat? That just doesn't sound right to me. ;)
Offered by: maddy on September 16, 2002 06:03 PMBad, Jodi! Bad! ;)
Offered by: Shawn on September 16, 2002 06:08 PMNo food on the day of atonement? I did not know that. So, you're supposed to feel sorry and hungry and cranky all in one day. Mazel Tov!
Offered by: Nancy on September 16, 2002 08:23 PMCome to think of it, I think we Catholics supposed to "fast and abstain" on Good Friday. I've definitely been known to eat cereal and banana before sundown on that day, so far without incident.
Although there was the one year where I admitted to having a chicken sandwich from Burger King, and had to endure the wrath of my mother....
Offered by: Nancy on September 16, 2002 08:27 PMJodi!
This is your mother. You are a bad jew... you never call me.
Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark.
Offered by: Jodi's Mom on September 16, 2002 10:00 PMWhen I was 12 I refused to go to church one Sunday morning so I could play outside in the fresh snow. I slipped down a snowbank and broke my thumb in a bad way. I was convinced! :)
Offered by: Jennifer on September 16, 2002 10:47 PMI'd just stay in bed... why get up if you can't eat!
Offered by: Desiree on September 17, 2002 12:30 AMI'm reporting this post to all my friends in the Israeli blogosphere - it's just too cute :-) Nice to meet you!
Offered by: ilana on September 17, 2002 01:41 AMWell, He works in mysterious ways.
Hooray for furious, vengeful Gods.
Offered by: Pete on September 17, 2002 03:34 AM...furious, vengeful Gods...
He did do the whole olive branch with the dove thing, you know... Of course that was after he unleashed a watery can of whup-ass on the earth... Of course, that is if you actually believe the stories... Now if you take them to be a collection of stories that describe the human condition, then you've got a good set of guidelines.
I prefer to view the Christian bible as being the rules for what we need to live a peaceful life; The 10 commandments, and the golden rule; Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but don't mess with the 10 rules in doing so.
Hey, I think that's one of the most deep things I've ever submitted for online perusal... I best stick to puns and boob jokes before I get all L. Ron Hubbard on you...
Offered by: Thomas on September 17, 2002 07:53 AMIf you break the rules by eating this year....can't you just atone for it next year?
Offered by: aaron on September 17, 2002 09:09 AMRaisin Cereal (ie. Bran) and a Banana? You are indeed a bad ass Jodi.
Shit, if you are going to break the rules at least do it by eating something naughty.
Sheesh.
You obviously have no idea about how to really break the rules.
Offered by: Deliah on September 17, 2002 09:33 AMOh, NOW I get it! To get Jodi to eat, just tell her she can't. It all makes sense now, you rebel!
Offered by: Allison on September 17, 2002 09:59 AMHun, a one day fast does nothing but drop your blood sugar so low the other Jews and WASPs will think you're the devil himself. Trust me, if I don't eat for more than 5 hours my head goes all Linda Blair. Pea soup city. And speaking of things that rhyme with soup, I'm sorry for Scott's entry today. I hate that word and the white trash Tennessee humor it provokes. I live with a stranger now.
Back to starving. I agree with maddy: they say starve? I say pass the can of frosting.
I never understood the ritualistic fasting seen in many religions. Then again, I've never understood religions. I mean, I understand them, but they're just not for me.
IMO, everyday is a good day for inner reflection.
Offered by: LA on September 17, 2002 10:28 AMReligion is not for me either. I'm with Jay. Pass the can of frosting. (And then watch me run to the gym in a frenzy!)
Offered by: Jodi on September 17, 2002 11:38 AML'Shanah Tovah, Jodi! It's always best to pretend like you're actually going to fast until you're hungry; i.e., get up, don't eat, go to services, whine about being hungry when you're not really quite hungry yet. Come home at 1:30, eat a sandwich, congratulate yourself on your forbearance and your healthy dedication to metabolic maintenance. Repeat every year. Frown in a self-righteous manner at everyone who eats before you and label a dangerous fundamentalist anyone who fasts longer than you . . .
and call your mother.
Offered by: Sara on September 17, 2002 01:07 PMI'm half Jewish, so I had half of a short stack of blueberry pancakes, half of two scrambled eggs, and half a pot of coffee. Right now I am enjoying half of a dry manhattan on the rocks with half a twist. My Jewness is secure.
But I really should call my mother. Free laundry!
Offered by: Jess on September 17, 2002 04:40 PM
